[cutepie008]

hello April,
firstly i wanna tell you that i visited your forum i guess 10 months before lost that ID so i created new one. i discussed my matter with u in detail as i tell u i lost that ID so i have to tell u from the beginning.

so i m 24 years old MUSLIM GIRl. i came from conservated family to some extent. and i m not english speaking so kindly ignore my mistakes 😆 i was doing my post graduation in clinical psychology. but unfortunately i had to leave my studies because of some domestic issues. well this is some other story
i met him in university i while i was student of MS. he was too but his subject is change he was my senior. he is also 24 years old
we started from friendship. but i fall in love with him. but i m confused i dont know is this love or only attachment or attraction sort of thing. we were together for 4 months but as i left university he too he completed his degree. we did not contacted for 3 months after university. he lost my contact number but he asked my friend about me and i contacted him again on phone. we chat daily. when we were in university he kissed me .as i told u i m from Muslim family so this is not allow before marriage i feel guilty and i broke up with him. but after 3months we contacted each other.
i m not that type of girl i know my values did not allow me to have sex and all these types of things.
but he said he cannot control his self he always force me to have phone sex even we are doing …. but i want commitment and he don’t.
we are from different background. financially i m strong. but we have different cast we never married from out of family and cast they also. he told me he cant make me his wife because of some family values etc etc
i always thought he is interested but he don’t want to confess or he just want to pass his time with me.
i broke up with him daily 😥 but after 5 mints i msg him m missing u badly.
when i left university he met a girl i know her i always make fun with him saying she has a crush on u. just like a frnd
my assumption is she likes him but he told he met her just to ask her why she always stared at him etc. he met her only two time as he told me i asked his frnd whats the matter he said dont worry nothing is like that what i m thinking … but honestly i feel jealous and main reason of our break up is she …he said i swear i dont like her i dont and i cant leave u .
tell me what to do u can understand how confuesd i m by post i dont know wht he wants… i m very possessive for him i really love him i cant let him go. i know i m a emotional girl but he knows i love him and i guess he is taking advantage of me he is doing fon sex with me i always feel guilty and broke up for 7 days or 10 days not more thn this xoz i cant …. tell me what should i do. i cant live without him

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I can’t just tell you what to do because you are an adult who has the freedom to make your own choices. 😉 If you know what you want, I can try to advise you on how to reach that goal. Or I can let you know if the goal is reasonable. But the first thing you have to do is to tell me what it is you need help with, specifically. 😉

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[cutepie008]

hi april,
thank u for your kind reply.
as i told u i dont want to let him go. u know what he said he is not perfect for me he thinks i deserve more than this like i deserve a gud guy and he thinks he is not ……. but i find him suitable perfect match for me.
so the first thing is we are far away from each other when were in university we spend 24/7 with eachother. but now the situation is totally opposite. i even read ur book how to date like a man its a great book even i follow your advices … but now i cant coz i m in my home town and he is in his…
v share our pics with each other we both spent our free time on chating and texting. even we use to call . sometime i feel he likes me but love and likeness is totally different things ..he is very complex character or just i find him … 😀 he care very much about me when ever we fight he said sorry …. but when i share my feelings of love with him he never said love u too his reply is often very strange… thn i start crying i m feeling helpless in front of him i m very sensitive girl i cant share him with any other girl…..this thought made md sad if he’ll merry some other girl wht will i do…… 🙁
i just want to know what he thinks about me ?
is he interested in me or just passing time?
or how can i get him fall in love with me?
so tell me how i can i get my answers
waiting for ur reply 🙂

oh i find post with subject

Should i continue the relationship?

if i want to share my feelings in easy way that will be the same is happing
post with subject

Should i continue the relationship?
same situation facing…. 🙁

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Okay. So, you don’t want to let him go. That’s your goal. The problem is, you don’t have him! 😮 And if you don’t have him, you can’t let him go.

I understand that you want him, but this relationship that you want to have and don’t, isn’t just about you. It’s about him, too — and he doesn’t want a relationship, from what you’ve written. 😳

Let me try to answer your specific questions for you. 😉

[quote]but when i share my feelings of love with him he never said love u too his reply is often very strange… thn i start crying i m feeling helpless in front of him i m very sensitive girl i cant share him with any other girl…..this thought made md sad if he’ll merry some other girl wht will i do…… 🙁 [/quote]

Don’t share your feelings of love with him. 😉 You should always let the guy lead, and if he wants to share his feelings with you, and you feel the same way, then you can do so, but not before. Also remember that in life, not everyone that you like will like you back, and not everyone who likes you, will be liked back by you. That’s just the way the world works. 😉 When someone rejects you, it’s a gift — because it lets you know where doors are closed. That way, you can go look for others that are open. 🙂

[quote]i just want to know what he thinks about me ?[/quote]

He already made it very clear what he thinks about you. 😉

[quote]is he interested in me or just passing time?[/quote]

He told you he doesn’t want a commitment, and he isn’t in love with you.

[quote]or how can i get him fall in love with me?[/quote]

Don’t chase him, for starters. Let him chase you, instead. If he doesn’t, don’t call or text. Become a woman who is so interesting men will want to chase after you and get to know you further. 😎

[quote]Should i continue the relationship?[/quote]

I think you should focus on other men since this one doesn’t seem that interested. I also think you should stop engaging in any behavior that could be construed as chasing him because it can come across as desperate, which isn’t very attractive, and because it takes away his opportunity to chase you. 😉 If he does, then you’ll know for sure he’s interested in dating you, and if he doesn’t, you may be disappointed, but you’ll have clarity and you can move on.

I hope that helps.

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[cutepie008]

hello april,
thank u for ur kind reply 🙂
i agree with you i know i m chasing him…. and i don’t know he wants me or not… his attitude is very confusing… he dont want me to break up our distance relationship….. main thing is he don’t know the definition of love but he always said i know u love me ……
i dont know what should i write here… 🙁 🙁 … i m in a confusing so called relationship… its not in my nature to chase or act desperately for someone .. but he is not like other guys or i just found…….. my cousins proposed me (maternal and paternal families) they like me but i never found any feelings for them….so i said no to them….
even at that time i was college student..
i always asked him what is the name of our relationship??? we are not friends but we r not girl friend boy friend… and he always i just don’t know why feel incomplete without you… we broke up for three months and he then contacted me again…. his behavior is complex…. i want to move on but i cant…
what should i do?
if he does not have feelings then y he feels incomplete without me?
i know i made a big mistake ,,,telling him about my love feelings… i told him about every feeling which i felt for him..
i guess this made him proud….. 🙁 😥
i cant ignore him ..whenever i tried i missed him more than previous time… nd the problems whenever i ignore his text nd calls he begged ,,dont do this etc etc 😳 😳 👿 😥 … what should i dont how can i make him mine is there any way??? or should i move on i know its difficult but not impossible…. i m just counseling myself by giving nd asking arguments …. 😐 😐

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The reality is that this is not a confusing relationship. It’s clear. But you don’t want to accept the clarity, so you’re trying to act like it’s confusing so you can tell yourself that he wants more than he does. The bottom line is that if he wanted to date you, he would.

I’ll try to answer your individual questions. 😉

[quote]i always asked him what is the name of our relationship??? we are not friends but we r not girl friend boy friend… and he always i just don’t know why feel incomplete without you… we broke up for three months and he then contacted me again…. his behavior is complex…. i want to move on but i cant…
what should i do?[/quote]

You should not ask him what the name of your relationship is. 🙄 Besides, it’s already clear — you’re not dating and you’re not friends. You’re trying to create drama so that you can convince yourself that there’s something to hold onto when there isn’t. 😳 His behavior is not complex. It’s simple. If you can’t move on, then I’m not sure what I can do for you. You can stay where you are, but you’ll be asking me the same questions over and over again, and eventually you’ll get tired of hearing the same answers. 😕

[quote]what should i do?[/quote]

I’ve already answered this question in your last post. 😉 Please re-read what you’ve written here, as well as my advice to you.

[quote]if he does not have feelings then y he feels incomplete without me? [/quote]

Because he’s so used to you being around for him, he is used to you being a part of his life. You’re trying to leverage that into a romantic relationship — but his behavior is showing you that he’s not interested in you. And, ironically, as long as you’re hanging around like this, he doesn’t have the chance to miss you — if he might miss you. 😉

[quote]what should i dont how can i make him mine is there any way??? or should i move on i know its difficult but not impossible…. [/quote]

I’ve already answered these questions for you in the last post. Please re-read them.

I hope that helps. I know this is difficult for you, but if you don’t want to move on, and he isn’t interested, there isn’t a lot I can do for you, beside what I’ve already advised. 🙂

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