[IwannafeelWEIGHTLESS]

This boy and I are kinda in a weird funk. We have always known each other and flirted but would never act on it. I went to a party of his 2 months ago and long story short- I slept with him. I’m not that kinda girl and I told him that. We kept talking but we didn’t hang out until almost a month later. I asked him before hand if this was just a physical thing because I didn’t want to get caught up in that. He said no I want to be happy & I like you a lot. So that sounded good to me! I went over to his house and it was a little strange but I was trying to convince myself it wasn’t. We didn’t have sex because I made it clear that I don’t want to do that just yet. Everything was cool and he invited me to come over again and stay. He’s very quiet, but he was being extra quiet. We barely even talked. It was very strange. When we laid down in his futon he said “I’m going to go to sleep I’m tired.” I just found it kinda odd that I was there and he hadn’t even kissed me. Made me feel like I did something wrong. The next morning he had class and I was going home so we were walking out to our cars and he was sayin bye or something and I grabbed his arm and said hey give me a kiss. I made fun of him cuz I had to tell him and told him good luck on his exam he laughed and said thanks I’ll see you later.
When he texted me that afternoon I asked him if something was wrong with him. He said he was just really tired. Butttttt didn’t seem that way. I say something he posted on facebook and it was about missing someone. So I played dumb and I asked him if there was something he was scared of or something he didn’t want to let go of. He said the let go of. He then told me that he wasn’t ready for a relationship at all. (which made me mad and upset me.) We were still talking and everything and he asked me what I was doing thursday but I was busy so I said Friday he said what we going to do? I said Idk movie & hangout after (I wanted to actually go out in public with him)? He brought up messing around and I was like umm…yeah? I don’t really plan that stuff but whatever lol. He then said well what if IT happens. (meaning sex.) I told him that whatever happens, happens. But I don’t want to have sex with someone unless I know that they’re going to be around for a while. like dating. He said what if I was around for a while? I said Idk probably I guess? ha. I then said the whole boyfriend rule thing he said I know.
The next night I texted him and asked him if he wanted to go see Due Date and hangout after that. He said well I think Pat said something about having a party. That made me mad so I didn’t really say anything. Then he tells me to come to the party and keeps telling me to come. So I go and when I walked in I saw him in the other room from a distance but he was sitting down with a buncha dudes I didn’t know so I just went in the kitchen with the ppl I did know. That whole night, I was trying everything I could just to get him to talk to me. He was acting like I didn’t exist. I even asked him a question and he answered it very shortly and walked away. I remember I put my arm on his hip and he pushed it off and said not now. If I would’ve been in a regular state of mind I would’ve gotten really mad. By the end of the night he texts me when hes in bed & I went up there. We didn’t do anything we just went to sleep. We didn’t even talk. The next morning I remembered all that & I wasn’t too happy. My friend told me that his ex gf showed up that night.
I asked him if he remembered anything he said no not at all. I told him the way he acted toward me and he apologized and said he was really upset and drank so much that he blacked out. I asked him if it was because she was there. He said yes. I just asked him why was she there and I changed the subject and asked him if this thing between the 2 of us is just physical or not. He said “I’m not ready for anything & i don’t know if I’m even going to be living in ohio next year. I want to move to south Carolina & I have a lot of stuff I have to take care of between then. Get my probation stuff done, police academy, school or not and fast cuz it’s time for me to grow up.” I said I understand & he told me hes been really stressed out lately and that he was going to go to bed and to text him tomorrow. I never texted him because I was so hurt. That feeling that I had after that night- I don’t even have words to describe it. It’s like I feel used. Like something old and damaged. Like an old pair of shoes that you wear when you’re cutting the grass…
But I did cave in and text him like at 2am last night and I asked him if he was up he said ehh. I asked him if I ever told him that I had my palm read when I went to canada. (had to do with him but I didn’t tell him that.) He never answered.
I think the reason that I probably like him is because I really want to figure him out. I know for a fact that if him and I were together, that we both could really help each other. I’m just really scared because if he is using me, then I’m probably going to continue to let him. I don’t want to but when I slept in his arms it was an amazing feeling. I don’t want to be a booty call but I’m afraid that’s what I’m gonna have to do if I want to have that amazing feeling again.
Please tell me he’s not using me……

[Ask April Masini]

Sorry, he’s using you. And worse, you’re letting him — over and over.

Men have sex with women because they can. YOU are the one who gets to determine how men treat you and what kind of men you want to be with. When you throw yourself at them, you become the booby prize — not the grand first prize that all men want to chase after, conquer and win!

Read my book, Think & Date Like A Man. [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. It will tell you EXACTLY what to do and what not to do to [i]not[/i] feel used in a relationship!

I know this is tough for you, but unless you’re tougher on yourself and hold yourself to standards, you’ll continue to be some guy’s booty call and you’ll continue to feel badly about yourself. 🙁

Follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter so you can get updates form this site that will remind you how to find Mr. Right, and join me on Facebook, too: [url][/url]. 😉

[IwannafeelWEIGHTLESS]

Ahhh….I knew it….just wanted someone to tell me otherwise I guess.

Do I answer him when he texts me? & if he wants to hang out what am I suppose to say?

[Ask April Masini]

“No,” works really well if you use it. Don’t respond. Get the book and read it.

You should also follow me @AskAprilcom to get updates from this forum that will help guide you onto a good dating track!

See you on Facebook, too: [url][/url].

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