[Nina]

I like a guy who I never used to get along with. We are both 17 and go to school together. We hang around with the same small group of close friends but have never gotten along ourselves; we would argue about pretty much everything and always have conflicting opinions.

Over the past year or so, we have learnt to get along better. We can hold a decent conversation and be nice to each other in the group. Anyway, I’ve also realised I like him. I tried to ignore it at first, but it’s been ages and it isn’t going away. I don’t know what to do.

While we get along better and don’t act like we hate each other anymore, it’s still pretty awkward between us outside of a group situation. It seems strange for me to even go up and say hi to him and would be weird for me to talk to him on facebook. Our friends often tease us about actually having a ‘love-hate’ relationship or secretly liking each other, which we have both always taken great offense to. This also means that when we are having a good conversation one of them will often make a remark and that will immediately end it. Neither of us have had a relationship before (that I know of), and I am pretty awkward and shy around guys in general, and it’s worse with him. I don’t think I’d have the confidence to go right up and tell him.

I have no idea if he would feel the same, sometimes I think I notice possible signs but I suspect I’m just overreading pointless things. How can I drop hints that I might like him without being obvious, and how can I pick up clues that he might like me more easily?

We really don’t have much in common, like I said we have very conflicting opinions about everything from trivial things to deeper matters, and we have completely different personalities and like different things. I have a lot of trouble starting a conversation with him that isn’t awkward or obvious.

I really like him and I don’t think it’s going to go away anytime soon. Could you give me any hints on how I can talk to him without it being awkward? How can I hint to him that I might like him and read into whether he might feel the same? How can I develop a better friendship with him? Is there even any point in a relationship between two such completely different people?

Thank you very much for your answer in advance.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like he likes you as much as you like him, but because you’re both relatively new to dating, no one knows what to do first. This is normal. It’s really hard for people to accept that they feel awkward. Sometimes there’s no way around it — except to acknowledge it. Telling him you feel kind of awkward sometimes opens the conversation to discuss the awkwardness — and ironically, in so doing, eliminating it! 😉

However, it seems like the two of you have a history of fighting and even now you don’t have a lot in common except for some chemistry. This isn’t necessarily enough to sustain a relationship. I think it’s best if you just continue to explore the friendship by trying to talk to him more and if he likes you — let him make the first move. You’ll know it’s a first move because he’ll ask you to do something just the two of you — not in a group.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go. And please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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