[Everchanging-9-18]

Hi,
I need some major advice!
So here is my situation
I was dating this guy, forever and I was his longest relationship as well as his first. I am older than him but it never mattered. So what happened was His cousin sent me some txt messages from his phone saying some mean stuff when he was at her house. He told me he was helping his grandmother with something and left his phone in the other room, meanwhile i was beside myself because of what she said. It hurt me so bad and just the fact that i thought it was him saying this stuff made it even worse. So as upset as i was i told him to delete my phone number because i didn’t want it to happen again and i didnt talk to him for almost a month. But then i started txting him again and it was as if we had never stopped talking. So this one night i had a really fucked up nightmare about him and i txt’d him saying please tell me you’re ok and i got a txt from his “gf” that i had no idea about saying a whole bunch of shit and i was torn yet again. so about a week later i got really drunk with my friend and we walked to his house. . . . yess we made the 2 hour walk to his house so him and i could talk. The entire time we talked and held eachother close and at one point we were both crying. He told me it would be ok and kissed me on the cheek. . . .and i believed him. Next thing you know his gf freaked and broke up with him, so me partying it up at my girl bffe’s house he called me and i left the party to talk to him. . . . i talked with him for hours and he was so happy about it. . . . then he got distant and now he doesn’t want to talk to me again. He told me that we would get back together then he told me he would never take me back and then he told me “maybe we will get back together” then freaked and told me that he only told me what i wanted to hear and that he hasn’t loved me for a long time and stuff. I’m devastated!

We were together pretty much every day of the week for hours at a time, we would sleep beside eachother cuddling, we would go everywhere with eachother and we were just so comfortable with eachother we didn’t care about anything.He would come over when i was so sick and hold me while i was trying to sleep it off or i had the shivers or something. He would come watch me at dance rehersals or competitions for days at a time and not complain, he would carry my bags even when i didn’t want him to. I would go to his hockey games and watch him all the time, hold his hat, phone and such when he was busy or playing one of his oh so many sports he plays. We would say the same things at the same time and we could just stare into eachothers eyes for hours and not have to say anything but we could feel everything around us. We would buy eachother things just for the sake of being able to do it, or make cookies for eachother because one of us had a bad day. I can honestly say I love him.

I called him out on everything and he didn’t deny it. I told him I know he didn’t want to see me because he knows if he does he will want to get back together. I told him he wouldn’t talk to me because he knows he still cares and he doens’t want to seem weak, he wants to be a man and prove he’s over me when he’s not . . . . He wouldnt say no he just ask why he should say something when i wanted him to. He won’t talk to me face to face or even txt me.

I don’t know what to do, I cry all the time, I never want to get up, I don’t even want to dance anymore when i love it more than anything. this has impacted me and everytime i try to move on i can’t . . . . I got back with my ex and within 30 minutes i cried and told him i still loved Ry.

What do i do?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Breaking up hurts, but staying in a broken relationship that has no future and just brings you pain over and over is worse than the pain of breaking up. You don’t want to face the pain of breaking up once and for all, so you keep going back to him in real life, and in your mind. This is making things worse for you.

You have to realize that although you wish he was your best friend, he’s not. A best friend doesn’t ignore your calls or texts and doesn’t cut you off. He’s an ex-boyfriend and he’s no longer interested or behaving like a guy who’s interested. When you accept that, you’ll be able to get over him and move on.

What you probably can’t see right now is that Mr. Right is out there waiting for you — but as long as you stay in this painful relationship, either with him, or wanting to get back with him, you’re never going to find the guy who will make you happy.

Let go and move on — in the face of the pain of the break up. You’ll feel better — I promise. But it will take some time.

Let me know how it goes, and follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter, and on Facebook: [url][/url].

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