[Lewis99]

I was in the park this morning doing some exercise with my dog, when about half way through this girl ran past. She seemed nice and fairly attractive. Later on when I was doing laps around the oval she passed me whilst she was running and said hi, I said hey back. I had a chance to talk to her at one point when she was sitting down and stretching but I didn’t take it. I went back to doing my exercises and walking the dog, we passed again and smiled at each other. At that point I said to myself “Ok Lewis, no more excuses, next time she sits down go say hello and talk to her.” So just as I was about to leave she sat down for a rest and I was walking over but then I saw she was with another girl, a friend I guess because they were talking. At that point I basically chickened out and walked home. I think they may have been talking about me at one point because I saw them glance over at me a couple times as I was leaving.

I’ve been kicking myself all morning for not talking to her. I think this is a problem for me. I always take ages to work up the courage to go talk to someone and if they are in a group, I just can’t do it. Furthermore apart from saying hi and paying them a compliment I would have no idea what to say next.

I’m really annoyed about what happened. Any advice?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re fearing failure. The worst thing that could happen is that you feel embarrassed because you don’t know what to say and things get awkward. Or that you do say something and she rejects you. Spelling out the worst that could happen to you is the first step to overcoming this fear. You’re not going to die from embarrassment or from being awkward, so can you handle an awkward moment or a no? (I know you can! 😉 )

Once you realize this isn’t THAT big a deal, you have to discipline yourself to walk over to someone you’re interested in, and start talking to them. You can flirt. You can ask them questions, or directions, or compliment them. Basically, you have to get the ball rolling. In this case, you can ask her about running, the neighborhood, if she lives nearby, simple questions that you’d ask anyone you want to get to know better.

Then, you close the deal by inviting her to get coffee right then, or ask her if she’d like to get together on Saturday night. You ask her if you can get her number. And you create a little step towards a future.

I hope that helps! 🙂

[Lewis99]

Hi thanks for the advice, I saw her at the park yesterday and asked her out, I got her number, so its going well. Thanks

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Awesome! 😀

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