Alright. I was with my currently ex boyfriend for 4 and a half years just 2 and a half months ago. We broke up because all the negatives about our relationship combined with my stress of school and his new job, not to mention that we were not really seeing each other enough…it was just really putting so much pressure on me. I was so sad all the time that I couldn’t take it anymore. Also I had developed feelings for someone else (although I still loved my boyfriend) but he didn’t actually feel the same. I feel that I developed those feelings because of what I felt I was missing in the relationship. But there were many factors that were troubling me. My ex has difficulty telling me compliments, or doing the “corny” romantic things. He’s not someone who goes out a lot and so we didn’t really have many dates. But there were many good things about him of course. We could talk about anything and although we tend to disagree on a few subjects we generally found our way around it.
So I’ve been out on a few dates. I thought I was ready, and wanted to move on but I don’t think so anymore. 4 and a half years is a long time to be with someone and I wonder if I really should give it another shot. I know he would like to. I still love him. When I’ve thought of him…it’s not a desperate need where I cry my eyes out because he’s not here. It seems like a deep longing from my core. Even during my “feelings” for other people I’ve thought of him. We talked for the first time in a month tonight. Our conversation was so nice. It was so wonderful to hear his voice again. I think my gut is telling me to go for it. But I’m scared of the problems we might face again. I’m scared of being unhappy. And sometimes I don’t really know what I want to be happy. It’s hard for me to just accept things and that’s something I have to work on.
Anyway…I think knowing what we know now could potentially make things better for us. However I don’t want it to fail again, as I really don’t want to put us through more pain like that. If a relationship was mostly happy, and you had the normal things (IMO) to work on, and the stress made you take time apart because you didn’t know where you were at, is it a good idea to try again? What does it mean if I’m scared?
.
