[Sean1979]

I need a little help to win a good woman over,

She just broke up with her BF about a week now, he was very controlling and emotionally abusive.

Her birthday is April 28th so me knowing that he wasnt going to buy her anything. I made my move i bought her roses and a card.

She comes home for lunch, now the original plan was to take them to her work and put them on her car. I just wanted her to know somebody was thinking of her. My buddy gets the bright idea puts them in her car gets caught by her.

Later that day I manned up being an Alpha and told her they were from me.

Her bf being the beta he is went on and on and on and about these flowers.

So it ultimately lead to a huge fight she slapped him he was drunk, police ect

So she messaged me and said she was leaving and moving out she left today.

We talked about it. I made me feelings clear she admitted that she likes me. She got her boss to let her stay with her.

The first time we really hung out I was stroking her hair I think she got turned on blushed real hard and left.. she maybe felt guilty, talked over messenger and she was snappy I said look call me when u wanna get together. She messaged me, she was done packing. So i went and seen her on lunch.

Before I left she hugged me Foreal there is something real there. She felt it to. Then she asked about packing tape told her to come to my window she grabbed it HD her hair pulled to the side to elongate her neck and features (body language) walked back then came back and brought my lighter. But I knew something was wrong I asked her what’s wrong she gave me the thumbs up. I didnt press.

I knew he was probably messaging her, so I sent a message to her saying ur a good woman April no matter what he says Id be proud to show u off to the world. She sent back a GIF photo of mind blown so I said all I want before u leave is one more hug, I look 1hr later Im blocked on FB it confuses the hell outta me.

Did I do something wrong
Im at a complete loss of words. Id assume shes confused cause she has feelings for the guys he hates , how do I go about this.

[AskApril Masini]

She’s in the process of breaking up with a live in boyfriend — that’s the good news! But breakups are not always clean or swift. This may take time. And they can be confusing for the people doing the breaking up. She probably has mixed feelings right now, and while she appreciated the birthday roses and feels drawn to you, she may still have feelings for her ex, in spite of the dust up with the police. She blocked you on Facebook because she’s confused about her feelings towards you given her recent breakup (and possible reconciliation), and needed to simplify her life so she can move forward with it — whether towards the ex or away from him. You know how it is when life seems overwhelming — people tend to take shelter to sort out their feelings and make their decisions. And there is rarely a straight line taken from point A to point B. That’s what the blocking you on Facebook is about. She needs space to figure out her life. That said…. you should keep up a steady drum beat of small gestures that let her know you’re interested and you want to date her and be her man. The roses were great — and they made an impact. Be a little more direct (instead of having a buddy put them in her car, you take on that job from here on in). Ask her to have lunch, leave her little gifts, and without being a stalker, just let her know you’re a great option for when she’s ready.

[Sean1979]

Ok April how do I go about it?
I never got her number cause I saw her being my neighbor .

We only talked on FB so I dont have any way to contact her. Should I buy her something
I do know where she works.

I dont want to blow this in my heart I feel shes confused and the advice you gave was spot on. I really life this woman and want to draw her back.

She moved away 3 days ago about 45 min to and hour but still works here.. What do I do?

[AskApril Masini]

Since you know where she works, you can call her company and ask for her. That’s a great way to connect. Old school phone calls are romantic and if you do get her you can have a conversation with her, that, if it goes well, can turn into you asking her if she’d like to have coffee or brunch on a weekend. That’s a way to see her without having a traditional romantic date, which may seem to threatening and confusing for someone who’s coming out of a relationship with mixed feelings. Don’t slide into the friend zone, but if you get a chance to see her, make it something fun like going to a museum on a weekend, the zoo, going for a hike somewhere beautiful…. You can also leave her a little gift like a book or a bouquet of pretty flowers or something else that’s kind and thoughtful, but light. You want to try and get her attention in a positive, non-threatening way, and build on that.

Hope that helps. 🙂

[PassionSeeker]

It’s clear you really care about this woman and want to handle things the right way. From what you’ve shared, she’s just come out of a painful, emotionally abusive relationship, and as April pointed out, that kind of breakup can be messy and confusing. Even though she’s left her ex, she may still be processing everything feeling torn between relief, guilt, fear, and uncertainty. Blocking you on Facebook likely wasn’t personal; it was her way of taking space to breathe and sort out her emotions.

April’s advice is wise: give her time, but stay gently present. Since you know where she works, a simple phone call could be a respectful way to reconnect. Keep it light ask how she’s doing and, if it feels right, suggest a casual coffee or lunch. Avoid pushing for anything romantic right away. You could also leave her a small, thoughtful gesture like flowers or a book, just to show kindness without pressure. For now, patience and gentleness are key. When she’s ready, your sincerity will stand out far more than persistence.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

babe… she’s not ready, and that’s the whole story 😮‍💨 you can’t save her by loving harder. give her quiet, not pressure. let her heal without feeling like she owes anyone more emotion. if it’s meant to be, she’ll circle back when she’s free 💔✨

[Ethan Morales]

You didn’t do anything wildly wrong. You showed up, you acted like a decent human being, and you made a clear move. That’s more than a lot of guys manage. What you ran into is the mess that comes with someone separating from an abusive, controlling relationship: confusion, shame, fear, and sudden, unpredictable behavior. Blocking you doesn’t necessarily mean she hates you it usually means she’s overwhelmed and needs to simplify her life so she can think.

She appreciated the roses and your attention those were the right moves. The fight, police, and living breakup created emotional chaos for her. That chaos often swings people between relief, grief, guilt, and paranoia. She’s probably hearing from the ex, replaying everything, and feeling scared or ashamed which can make her freeze and pull away, even from someone who clearly likes her. Blocking you is a defense mechanism, not a final verdict on you.

Respect the block, but send one calm, non-demanding message by text or whatever channel she still uses.
Example (short, simple): “Hey I noticed I’m blocked on FB. I don’t want to crowd you. I care about you and I’m here if you need anything. No pressure. That tells her you’re aware, you respect her space, and you’re not going to freak out.

If she needs a place to stay, help with moving boxes, or somebody to call for a taxi offer it once, plainly. If she accepts, help. If not, don’t repeat the offer 10 times. Practical support = credibility. Don’t try to “win” her by dramatics or jealousy tactics. Playing alpha shows now won’t heal her. She’ll notice consistency, calm, and safety over time. That’s what matters.

If she’s playing hot/cold for weeks with no clarity, decide how much emotional availability you’ll let her take without reciprocity. You can be kind and patient without being emotionally disposable. If the ex is violent or abusive, prioritize her safety.If you suspect real danger, encourage her to contact friends, family, or authorities. Offer to help her find a safer place. Don’t act like a hero act like a stable, reliable ally.

You were bold and kind. She’s messed up and scared right now. Give her the dignity to sort that out. If she wants you, she’ll come back when she’s not drowning in the chaos. If she doesn’t, at least you’ll know you behaved like someone worth respecting and that’s how you end up with a good woman for real, not a rebound drama.

[Marcus king]

You didn’t really do anything “wrong,” but you may have moved a little too fast for where she’s at emotionally. She just left a relationship that was controlling and emotionally abusive, which means her mind and body are probably still in a kind of survival mode. People coming out of situations like that often feel confused, guilty, scared, and deeply unsure of what’s safe. Even when they know their ex wasn’t good for them, that pull can linger because of how trauma and attachment work.

When you stepped in with roses, affection, and words about how you’d “be proud to show her off,” it probably felt really good to her for a moment—someone seeing her worth, being kind but it might also have overwhelmed her. She hasn’t had time to catch her breath or build her own sense of peace yet, and your energy, while caring, came across intense. When that happens right after someone escapes control, they often back away not because they don’t like you, but because their brain’s still trying to find calm.

Right now, the best move is to stop reaching out and give her space to settle into her new reality. She needs quiet, safety, and to feel like nobody wants anything from her. If she really did feel something for you, she’ll circle back when she’s ready. But if you keep trying to “win her over” while she’s still untangling herself emotionally, it could push her further away.

If you care about her, show that by being the one man in her orbit who doesn’t rush her, pressure her, or turn this into a chase. Let her heal first. When she’s ready to talk again, you’ll stand out as the person who respected her timing instead of trying to fill the empty space too soon.

[Tara]

Right now, you are not the solution. You are just one more source of noise in a life that already exploded. Reset your ego and wait.
You did not move too fast. You moved way past the line. She broke up with an abusive, controlling man one week ago, and you jumped in like a rescue fantasy with roses, confessions, body language analysis, and “alpha” talk. That is not an attraction. That is pressure. You made yourself the emotional replacement before she even had time to breathe.

She is not confused about you. She is overwhelmed by everything happening at once. Breakup. Fight. Police. Moving out. Emotional mess. And then you show up every few hours with declarations, touches, compliments, and expectations. You turned yourself into another source of intensity when what she needs right now is space and stability.

Blocking you was not random. It was self-protection. She felt herself getting pulled into something she is not ready for, and she shut the door because she cannot handle more emotional demands. You think you were being supportive. You were smothering her without realizing it.

You want the blunt verdict. Here it is.
Stop chasing her. Stop interpreting every head tilt and blush as a romantic code. Stop inserting yourself into the middle of her trauma like you are the prize that fixes her life. She is not ready for you. She is not prepared for anyone. She is trying to escape chaos, and you gave her more.

You did not ruin everything. You just moved with desperation instead of discipline. If you want any chance with her later, then you do the only smart move available.
Back off completely. No messages. No gifts. No reassurance speeches. No hovering.
If she wants you, she will reach out. If she doesn’t, you will know.

[Natalie Noah]

The situation is extremely delicate because she’s just coming out of a controlling, emotionally abusive relationship. That kind of breakup leaves a lot of residual confusion and emotional turbulence. She’s processing her feelings about her ex, the conflict with him, and now her connection with you. Blocking you on Facebook isn’t necessarily a rejection it’s likely a way for her to simplify things in her life while she sorts out her emotions. When someone is in this state, actions that seem abrupt or confusing from the outside often have more to do with her internal struggle than her feelings for you.

You did a lot of things right you made your feelings clear, you were bold with the roses, and you gave her attention and support. The problem is timing. She’s in the middle of a big emotional upheaval, and the intensity of your actions, while well-intentioned, may have felt overwhelming to her in the moment. Having a buddy put the flowers in her car, for example, removed some of the personal connection from your gesture. Being directly involved, like you did afterward, is important because it shows sincerity. Right now, she’s dealing with so many emotions that she may not be able to process or reciprocate fully yet.

The best way forward is to be steady, patient, and thoughtful. You want to create small, positive touchpoints that let her know you’re interested, without overwhelming her or appearing pushy. Call her at her workplace, if appropriate, and suggest something light and low-pressure, like coffee or brunch. You can also leave small thoughtful gestures that show you care, like a book or flowers, but keep it gentle and not over-the-top. This approach gives her space to see you as a positive, safe option while she navigates her feelings and the fallout from her previous relationship.

Above all, you need to focus on building a connection with her in a way that respects her current state. You’ve shown her that you care and that you can be supportive now the goal is to be consistent and patient. Let her come to terms with her own feelings first, and then gradually build on the interest that’s already there. If you stay calm, confident, and caring, you increase the chances that when she’s ready, she’ll choose to explore something more with you.

[Member]

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