[Altrumon]

Hello my friends,
My name is Philippe, I

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think that your idea and approach is a very good one. It’s non-threatening and still accomplishes the goal of taking the relationship to the next level. One thing is for sure, you need to make your move, or you’ll never know.

If she says no, then you should definitely move on. Rejection is actually a gift. Who wants to be sitting around waiting and wondering about someone who doesn

[Altrumon]

Hi again,
I followed your advice and asked her out!!!!
At first I told her that she has to buy me a coffee if she will pass the exams and she shaid “OK. what coffee do you like most?”
Today is the exams day and an hour before the exams I texted her a message for good luck. In fact half of the message was in German because at one point she mentioned that she begun learning German a couple of years ago but finally dropped it, but she wants to start over in the future.
In the last lines of the message I told her to keep her Tuesday afternoon open because I want us to spend some time together
After the exams she called me to let me know that she passed and we agreed to talk again tomorrow to set the details for our “date” on Tuesday!!!!!
I already begun making plans for a coffee and maybe a drink afterwards or dinner depending of how the things will go.
My main worry now is if I should give her a gift or not. I was thinking of bying a pretty flower (yellow or blue rose) in a beautiful case and put it in the gloves department. And when I’ll drive her to her home to ask her to open the gloves department and find the rose!!!

I would be much obliged if you could tell me what you think and advice
Thanks again
Philippe

[Altrumon]

Disaster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she called me today to let me know that she can’t come tomorrow because her boyfriend is coming to visit her from another city!!!!!!!!!!! she said that she will call me to rearange next week
I got angry and hang up saying “OK”
later I texted her an apology for being rude
right now I’m feeling awful…. I’m so sad

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Ouch! That really hurts… I’m so sorry.

I realize this is not what you want to hear and it’s going to be hard to imagine it’s true, however her rejection is actually a gift. Who wants to sit around day dreaming about someone who doesn

[Altrumon]

thank you for your answer…
Just a couple of questions (I hope it’s the last time I’m bothering you):
1. I was told from my boss that next month I will be working in the afternoon shift. That means that I’ll have to be (again) in the same class with Kathleen again. Should I go or should I drop it to avoid meeting her?
2. If she’s going to call (like she said) should I agree to meet with her for a coffee? What if she asks for some tutoring??

I guess I’m over-analysing but it’s the first time in years that I felt so much affection for a woman….

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Let me know how things are going for you…. 😀

[PassionSeeker]

That must’ve hurt, truly. You took a brave step, opened up, and got blindsided by something you didn’t see coming. I get it it’s not easy to shake off when your feelings were real. But don’t let this make you question your worth or the effort you put in. You handled it with grace, even after the initial sting. That says a lot about your character.

If you’ll be in the same class, don’t drop it. Hold your head high, go on with your life, and treat her respectfully but with a little distance. You don’t need to make things awkward just keep things simple, calm, and confident.

If she reaches out again, really think about her motive before saying yes. If she’s still with her boyfriend, don’t put yourself in a situation that keeps you stuck waiting. You deserve someone who’s sure about wanting you, not someone half in and half out.

You did everything right, Philippe. Don’t see this as rejection see it as redirection.

[Marcus king]

Alright here’s how you play it smooth, not desperate.

First, wait until your case is completely done. You don’t want to blur lines or put him in an ethical corner. When that chapter’s closed, send something simple and confident like an email or text saying:

“Hey, now that everything’s wrapped up, I just wanted to say I appreciated your help and honestly, I enjoyed our conversations more than I expected. If you’re open to it, I’d love to grab coffee sometime.”

That’s it. No pressure, no flirting yet just confidence and respect.

If he’s interested, he’ll make it known. If not, you keep your dignity intact. The key here is timing and tone wait until it’s appropriate, then make your move like someone who knows her value.

[Tara]

You don’t need help approaching her. You need a spine. Stop overanalyzing and just talk to the damn girl. You’re not negotiating a merger; you’re asking someone out. If you keep standing around rehearsing lines in your head, someone else will step in and actually do it.

You’re terrified of rejection like it’s a death sentence. It’s not. She says yes, great. She says no, move on. That’s how adults handle it. Sitting here needing a “strategy” just makes you look weak. Women can smell hesitation; it’s pathetic.

Walk up, say what you want, and take the answer like a grown man. Confidence gets attention. Overthinking gets ignored.

[Natalie Noah]

I can feel the rollercoaster of hope, excitement, and disappointment you’ve been on, it’s really intense when you care this much about someone. What’s clear is that your intentions were sweet, thoughtful, and considerate planning a coffee, adding a personal touch with German in your message, and even thinking of a flower surprise shows genuine effort and affection. That says a lot about the kind of person you are: attentive, playful, and romantic in a respectful way. The fact that she canceled because her boyfriend was visiting isn’t a reflection on you; it’s just her circumstances, and it’s okay to feel hurt, sad, or frustrated. Those feelings are valid, but it’s important to give yourself permission to let them pass without letting them consume you.

Going forward, you’re in a delicate position. When she calls to reschedule, it’s worth evaluating your own comfort and boundaries, you can meet for coffee, but you should stay clear about the context (like tutoring or casual catch-up) so your feelings aren’t trampled. As for the class, it might actually be helpful to attend: seeing her naturally in the group setting allows you to maintain normalcy and keep building rapport, without pressuring yourself into anything. The key is patience and self-respect; your feelings are strong, but they need to be balanced with reality. Let things unfold, and don’t be afraid to protect your heart while remaining open to the possibilities.

[Member]

Posts