[Ssmith6245]

ok so its a bit of a long story.. i will try and shorten it as much as possible but please bare with me as i really need help.

So we met 2 years ago at a works xmas party (december 2011). We where both in 5 year relationships and somehow managed to kiss.. we decided to meet up and well.. we fell in love. We said we would leave our partners when the time is right and be together. I am from southern england (london) and she is from Scotland(the Country north of england). she was working in southern engalnd when we met.

Later on (July 2012) we where both made redundant from our company but managed to maintain jobs however in a different location to London. We both started to work in a place called leeds (middle of england – half way between London and scotland, around 3 hours to drive to either destination) we travel to our respective original homes every weekend – north and south ( not together) we do not live toghter either.

She was engaged and broke up with her partner in September 2012, I broke up with my partner in Jan 2013 and we became proper boyfriend and girlfriend.

In april 2013 i found out that she was still with her fiance… i obviously confronted this and it turned out they still lived together (when she went home at weekends) and were still getting married. She admitted all of this and explained that she did not love him in that way and felt it was more a brother sister relationship than romance but she had felt pressured to continue it due to her family (mum and 2 sisters). obviously i was heartbroken and she seemed as though she was aswell. we began to talk again around a week later after the dust had settled and she said she was going to pluck the courage up to do the right thing and properly break it off….. Last month in early novemeber that actually happened (for real this time). She went on holiday with friends and family to america in late novmeber… aftetr her holiday she said that being out there made her realise how much she has missed her home and family (not her ex) and she felt she needs to move back. we had a chat and i said that when our jobs finish here in Leeds (mid england) that i would be prepared to move with her back to scotland so we could be together and she agreed.

Just this week she has said that she misses home too much and cannot bare to be here any more and must move home as of immediatley, she has started looking and applying for jobs to move back. she said that she needs her space now because her head is all over the place. so we have now finished so she can have time to be on her own.

I really love this girl… i feel she is the one for me. if she is to move home soon then that would completley be the end of us…. as she has not told her mum/family she cannot introduce me as a new relationship as to her mums knowledge her and her ex only split a month ago and it would seem to soon to say that someone is moving to be with her. It couldnt work.

Some of her friends knew about me and were fine with it some others found out who did not approve of what she was doing. I have a feeling that she is possibly too scared that if we continued then one day her family would eventually find out our past and how we met, although it maybe be her hiding that she doesnt trully love me. She sys she does but i feel her head is so over the place at the moment.

I dont know what to do as i really dont want to loose her.. irrespective of what has happnened, the cheating or lies etc. when we are together we are fantastic.

If i dont do something soon then she may have moved back to scotland and i will never see her face again and there would be no way of us being together as there would not ever be an explanation of how we met that she could tell her family. (she will not tell the truth re meeting when we had partners as her mum was cheated on by her step dad and feels that her family would dis own her if they knew the truth)

Can you help me please… ????
If you have any questions about anything then feel freee to ask!

Thank You

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old are you both?

[Ssmith6245]

She is just about to turn 30 and I am 27

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Thanks for the extra information. 🙂

So, while I know you feel that if you don’t do something immediately, you may never see her again — the reality is that even if you [i]do[/i] do something immediately, she may still move and you may never see her again. It takes two people to make a relationship work, and it doesn’t sound like she wants to be in one with you. 😳

The reality is that if she’s telling the truth this time, she’s only been dating you, and only you, for one month out of the two years you’ve known and dated her. It was only a month ago that she broke up with her other boyfriend, and now, she wants to move back home. Frankly, it doesn’t sound like she’s very committed to her relationship with you.

My advice is that you let go and move on. The fact that when she met you, she lied to her boyfriend at the time about you, and then when she was with you, she lied to you about the fact that she was dating someone else, isn’t a good sign for a future for the two of you. In addition, at her age, 30, I’d think that if she were really that into you, she’d want to introduce you to her mother. Instead, she seems to be using “appearances” as an excuse not to. 😕

I’m sorry that this may not be what you wanted to hear, but I think it’s best for you to move on.

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[Member]

Posts