[np2494]

Hi I’m a guy. I’m 20 years old. Haven’t dated much at all.

Anyway, I have a problem. There was a girl I met this year in my art class who would flirt with me in like a half joking kind of way; kind of made it hard for me to tell if she was interested. I’ll tell you just a little about the story between me and her.

I liked her and one day the professor gave us all an assignment one day. In short, we had to draw something and it would be hung on the wall in the hallway. I drew a picture of a sunset. When it was finished I had the idea of giving it to that girl after I got it back from the teacher. When I came to class the day it was due, the professor had hung all the students artwork on the wall in the classroom. She asked a random student which one they liked the best and they picked mine. The professor asked which student drew that picture and I raised my hand and said I did. Half the class was in disbelief. The girl says “wow, you drew that!?” I say yep proudly. “wow, can I have it? Like seriously, I’d give you a few dollars for it” She said. And I go “it’s yours if you want it. I’m not taking your money though.” She got it later the next week.

Skip forward a little bit…
The day finally came to where the whole class would go to an art museum. I rode in the car with the girl I liked along with her friend, the professor, and the professor’s friend. Everyone talked the whole way there, the professor didn’t want to turn the radio on for some reason. I didn’t say a whole lot. I’d just crack a joke every now and every now and then I’d say something about the professor’s poor driving. Anyways when we got to the museum, I spent most the time with the girl and her friend. And we’d just walk around and look at all the paintings and sculptures, what you’d normally do at an art museum.
We left a little over two hours after looking around and started looking for a place to eat and we all agreed to eat at Braums. After I received my food, I sat diagonal from the girl. About halfway through my meal, the girl asked me “so what’s gonna happen when the class is over and we don’t see each other anymore?” I saw her grin and look over at her friend. I think I said “what do you mean?” But I don’t think she heard me. We changed the subject to something else and finished our meal.

The last day of class came quickly. And when class was over I was gonna walk with her to her car, but she didn’t come out immediately. She said she had things to take care of before she left.
I went to my car and began to wait. After maybe 5 minutes she came out and walked to her car. I guess she didn’t see me because she walked right passed me. She started her car and to my surprise, she pulled up next to me and asked if I waited for her. I nodded and said “you got any plans this Saturday?” She said “i am off this Saturday. What did you wanna do like grab some coffee or something?” And I said “um I was thinking maybe go bowling or go for a walk. You know, something that’s not too cliche.” She smiles and says “sure we can figure something out.”
That Thursday I texted her asking “hey, you busy?”. She answered “Ya at work. I was gonna text ya. I forgot I had plans this Saturday. I’ll see if we can still chill or something though. Gotta play it by ear.” And I answer back, “oh okay. We can do something another day nbd.”

It had been a week and she didn’t text me back. I grew impatient and decided to just go ahead and text her. I texted asking how her week was. Didn’t get an answer. I gave her the benefit of the doubt thinking that she was probably busy at work. Later that day, I texted “Text me when you get a chance.” A few days passed and she still didn’t contact me. So I just thought I’d give her a call. It went to voicemail. I left a message saying “i just wanted to see what’s up. i haven’t spoken to you in a while.” and “call me back when you can” (I can’t remember everything I said). I remember sounding very nervous as I was speaking. I figured out just a bit later that I was having an anxiety attack. 😳 She didn’t call back.

I wish I hadn’t been so shy in the past, but it’s too late for that now. Now I’m not sure what I should do. I want to at least spend a little time with her, but idk how that’s gonna happen if she won’t even call me back. I think the most I can do is to try to find her friend her best friend on facebook and ask her why this girl is ignoring me but idk if that’s a good idea or not.

What should I do?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re right — it would have been better if you’d shown more initiative in wanting to date her early on instead of giving her the idea that it was no big deal if you went out or not. And you’re also right that that’s done, and now you have to go from here.

She’s clearly not interested now, and I don’t think it’s a good idea to go to her friends and ask why. My advice is to back off and put some time and distance between the two of you, and then if you’re still interested in a few weeks, go back to her and really ask her out on a proper date — Saturday night; a movie; make a time and a date to pick her up when you ask her out so there’s no mistaking your intention for hanging out or just being buddies, etc.

And if she doesn’t return your calls, then you should move on.

Not everyone is going to be your cup of tea, and you’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, either. If someone isn’t interested in dating you, then you’ve just received a gift that is letting you know not to waste time where there’s a dead end, and to use your energy more efficiently, by looking for someone to date who is interested. 😉

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[np2494]

Good advice. Thanks.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome!

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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