You’re living by the code of fear, and you will never have any happiness or health as long as you continue to do so. All your actions are fear-based. If you don’t deal with the fact that she lies and cheats, you’ll have peace in the house and more access to your child together — for now. But is that really a good example to set for your child? Or to live your own life? Think about it.
I know you’re avoiding conflict at all costs right now, but the reason you’re writing me is because you know it’s wrong and somewhere deep inside, you know you have to do the right thing. Well, I’m giving you permission to do the right thing today. 😉
If you know she’s lying to you, there’s no sense in trying to get her to tell the truth. 😳 You already know the truth, and when you’re dealing with a liar, you’re never going to get a straight answer. I appreciate you’re wanting to work things out for the sake of your child and the family you want to have with her, but unless you understand why she’s looking to cheat, or is already cheating, you’re going to be unprepared to do so. Granted, cheating doesn’t happen in a vacuum, and there is something in the relationship that is not satisfying to her, so she’s looking outside of it. If you want to give the relationship a hail mary try, then you’ll have to be the man she’s looking for — but if you are dealing with someone who either isn’t interested in saving the relationship, or just cheats chronically, then nothing you can do will help. 🙁
So figure out if you want to try to save the relationship by being the guy she’s looking for outside of it — or if she’s so far gone and not interested in saving the relationship, that having to share custody of your son is really the best you can do.
I know this is difficult, but you’ll decide what’s right. 🙂
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