[hotstuff]

I’m 22 years old and I work at a college. I like a girl that is a student there and I’m not sure how I should approach her. Being an employee and her being a student is making this challenging. I don’t think it would be weird because of me being their age. I really like her and I want to talk to her. Any ideas how I could approach her? Would a college girl get excited about dating an employee?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think a college girl could definitely be interested in dating a college employee — but I think it’s more about who you are, not just your job. 😉 What might catch her interest is your appearance, your confidence, your sense of humor — you never know, but you should bring your A game, regardless! 🙂 It sounds like you’ve seen her around, but haven’t spoken to her, so — time to start getting onto her radar. Compliment her, say hello, flirt with her, and make small talk. These are all ways you can put yourself in her line of vision, and make a great impression, as well as get to know her. When you’ve done that enough that you’re getting positive feedback from her, then ask her out on a date, off campus. 😉

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[hotstuff]

Yea I have seen her around and she’s seen me. I want to talk to her but I’m trying to figure out when or where is the best time/place. I see her alot at the caffeteria and sometimes at the sports complex. If she’s alone I’m taking advantage of it. But if I don’t get that chance and she’s with friends then I’m not sure how to go about that. I know she’s on the tennis team and I did meet one of her team mates before. Could I use that to my advantage? What could I do to really get her attention that sets me apart from all the other guys she socializes with?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Don’t use her friends or colleagues to leverage a date or create a gossipy environment. Instead, play it by ear, and definitely try to talk to her if she’s alone, but don’t be afraid to say hello or flirt with her if she’s with a girlfriend or two. The idea is to make a good impression and get on her radar. You don’t have to ask her out on a date the first time you two talk. But you do want to intrigue her and get her interested in you. 😉

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[hotstuff]

I understand your point. The only thing I question about is, and this can be used for any situation, is by talking to a girl but waiting to ask her out. In todays society dating is a competition, and if I start talking to a girl on a regular basis, and wait till later to ask her out, that gives other men the chance to make a move on her and her to go out with them. I’m a now person and if I talk to a girl I like I’m going to want to ask her out a.s.a.p or at least give “hint” that I’d like to go out with her. I want her to know I’m interested in her and go out with her soon, but I also don’t want to be aggressive and put her on the spot. How do I find the right balance of geting a girl interested in me without being aggressive while there are other men that I’d assume would want to go out with her?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Okay, now you’re just procrastinating. 😕 First you asked me if she’d be interested in going out with you. Then you got that answer and consequently asked me how you should ask her out if you can’t get her alone. So I gave you that answer, and now instead of going out there, you’re telling me that you have conditions on the way you’ll ask her out — and are concerned that if you wait too long, you’ll lose your advantage… 😯 You’re right, but that should be obvious. Dating IS competitive, and yes, that goes without saying. But if you just worry about it instead of acting on the competition, you’ll never get anywhere. 😉

I know you want things to go your way, and you want to date smart, and hedge against mistakes — and that’s great. But there’s only so much you can do in your head. At a certain point you have to get out there and not just focus on this woman you like, but you have to play the numbers game and not put all your eggs in one basket. 😉 It gives you more options and it makes you more attractive because there’s no anxiety or desperation peeking through. 🙂

I suggest that you buy the book I wrote for men called Date Out Of Your League, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url], because it’s going to be a great resource for you. 🙂

[b]Check out my new FB Fan Page!! And If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” me — and tell a friend!
[url][/url][/b]

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