[bogaroo]

i’ve got a simple problem but cannot find a solution .i started a relationship with this girl about four years ago and everything was moving smoothly but in the last year i began experiencing some problems. i worked away for two weeks then be at home for one week and when i’m at home i do all the house work whilst she sits in front of the tv when i call upon her she says “leave it i’ll do it later”
which never gets done (or if i do it), i’m the sole bread winner and my sex life is scheduled (maybe 2-3 times for the week i’m home)
this is beginning to affect me mentally so pls can you advise i love her but i’ve to stand as a man

[someoneinaustx]

You have a decision to make. Most people don’t change as adults, so you have to decide if you can move forward with things the way they are, or prepare yourself to move on. You have heard people use the expression “growing apart”, well that’s what’s happening here. You cannot go back to the way things used to be without someone having to give up on what they like about how things are now. She seems to be fine with how things are now and you aren’t. If you push hard on going back, she is just going to resent you. If you give up and accept her for the way things are now, you will resent her. My advice is to move on. This, from a man who is in a 14 year marriage and who is dealing with the issues of not leaving when I should have. All the signs were there and I CHOSE.. get that.. I CHOSE to ignore them. Now I am suffering the consequences and since children are involved I cannot just move on.

[bogaroo]

thanks for your advice i’ll soon make a decesion

[kai]

I notice that you have placed your question in the forum for Guest Writers and Advice Column Contributors.

This is not in the forum where April answers readers questions.

If you want to get a response from April please repost your question in the proper forum which is the Q & A Advice Forum.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

[Anna Shanelle]

Just talk to her and tell her your concerns so she can also understand your side. Don’t start keeping score of who does what, instead, you should help each other.
It can also be hard when someone is away from their family, so maybe there are things she feels she’s missing that you’re not able to give, which could explain the change in her behavior. That’s why it’s important for you both to have a proper, honest conversation and really listen to each other’s concerns.

[Member]

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