[LoveIsHell]

I guess to start off, I’ll tell you this. I’m a bisexual female. This past summer, I was in a committed relationship with another bisexual girl (Isabelle) for a few weeks until she admitted that she lost her feelings for me and left me. Soon after, I fell in love with a guy (Jason) who admitted to falling for me long before the girl did. I then was in a committed relationship with him. Isabelle and I remained friends, but we did not talk very often until recently. About a month ago, I was on Facebook looking at Isabelle’s pictures and I realized that I still have feelings for her. I told her about this, and she told me that she still has feelings for me too. But the problem is, she is in a committed relationship with another guy and I am still in a committed relationship with Jason. I told Jason about how I have feelings for him but I also have feelings for Isabelle. He was very upset by this, so I asked him what I could do to make him feel better, and he said to cut off communication with her. I have not spoken with her for a couple weeks now, and I have been missing her terribly. I just don’t know what to do. Her boyfriend cheats on her and mistreats her, and I know I could treat her so much better, and it kills me that I can’t help her at all. I don’t want to let go of him, but I don’t want to let go of her either. What should I do?

[Clara]

[quote]I don’t want to let go of him, but I don’t want to let go of her either. What should I do?
[/quote]

You have to realize that you can’t have everything. That’s a tough concept to wrap your head around — especially if you’re young and don’t have a lot of dating experience. Just because Isabelle has a relationship you disapprove of doesn’t mean it’s your right or responsibility to interfere and impose your values on her relationship with her boyfriend. 😳 Sometimes you have to let people go on their own journeys and figure things out for themselves. Ultimately, it’s a much better way to live.

Second thing you need to understand is that feelings and behavior are two separate things. Just because you have feelings doesn’t mean you should act on them. I’m not sure how old you are, but figure out what you want in a relationship that is age appropriate. Then go for that goal. If you’re going to react to every feeling you ever have, you’ll be living in chaos. People in long term committed relationships, and even marriages, have feelings for others, but they honor their commitments to their partners because mature love means more than just feelings.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Member]

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