[kenkayhen]

Hey April. I love your advice forum, and I’m hoping that you can help me out with my predicament. I really like this guy and I don’t know if he likes me back or not, or if I’m crazy for even thinking he might. Let me give you a quick look at what I’m dealing with.
I’m in college, and in the band. The guy that I like is my section leader. He’s really funny, very musical, and very outgoing, so pretty much everything that I look for in a guy. I’ve liked him since I met him because he was different then the people I had already met. The problem I’m having is that I don’t know if the signs I’m picking up on are because he does like me, or maybe he’s just being nice since he’s my leader? The signs I’ve noticed are mostly the eye contact we have. I’ve noticed him looking at me a couple times while he is talking to someone or when we are having a group meeting I feel like his eyes fall to me more then the others. Sometimes when we are having practices he will be explaining to us what we should do and while looking at me seems to show a little grin when we make eye contact. Also, sometimes I feel like he is watching me when we are practicing altogether, even though he is on the opposite end of the field as I am. One day, when we were waiting around, I even heard him yell hi to me from all the way on the other side. He gave the cheesiest grin and wave he could and I just laughed. One last sign is that during some of our performances he has managed to fill a spot that’s close to me, whether he had to squeeze his way in, or say he was standing there to make sure the crowd didn’t take over our designated spots.
I don’t have any history with guys whatsoever. I’ve texted a couple guys who liked me, but I ended up falling away from them after awhile, so I don’t really know how to read the signs. Like I said he is pretty outgoing and talks to quite a lot of people, but mostly spends time with his guy friends. The one major thing that pulls me away from thinking that he likes me is that we don’t talk outside of practice. I actually never see him outside of practice, but we don’t text. The only time we do text is when he is sending out messages about where our next recital will be at.
Maybe I’m totally blowing this out of the water and reading into these signs to much, but I just can’t stop thinking about him. I’ve tried ignoring him and trying to get my feelings out of my mind (mostly because thoughts of him take up way to much of my time 😆 ) but it never fails that when I finally go a day ignoring him, or not thinking of him, he has something important, or really funny to tell me and my feelings just come crawling right back. Sorry for the long post, but I feel like I more just had to get all these thoughts out instead of hiding them inside. Thanks for reading this, and I can’t wait to hear back if you think he likes me, or if I’m being over analytical with these signs that I’m seeing.
Thanks Again,
Kenkayhen

[AskApril Masini]

It really sounds like he does like you — but you need to give him something to chase after, so that he knows you like him! Flirting is the best way to do that. Make sure you dial up the eye contact, laughing at his jokes, complimenting him — you know how to do it! You want to make him know that you’re interested — without taking the lead. That’s why flirting is so great. He may be wondering how you feel and is waiting for some sign, so give it to him!

Hope that helps.

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[kenkayhen]

April,
So my question is concerning the same guy in my previous question. The other day he asked me to play a gig with him where it would only be the two of us from our section and other people in the band (mostly because some of the older people had prior commitments). He also asked me to give him a ride to the place. How do I utilize this time to my advantage and connect with him? I’m really quite shy and insecure when it comes to being alone with guys and I’m scared it will be awkward when we drive over..
Thank you! 🙂

[AskApril Masini]

It sounds like you need help learning to flirt, making small talk and having social conversations. Right? You can start by differentiating between business and social lives! Your question, [quote]…How do I utilize this time to my advantage and connect with him?…[/quote] sounds more like something you’d here in a business seminar than a dating conversation. Relax. 🙂 Have fun. 😉 Get to know him. Let him get to know you. Compliment him. Be flirtatious. 😎 Laugh at his jokes. 😆 And if you need help on those things, buy the book I wrote for women who want to succeed at dating, Think & Date Like A Man. You can get it here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

I know you started out saying that you’re not good at this — but this opportunity is one in which you can learn, practice and attempt to get good at it! Dating isn’t an academic pursuit. It’s hands on, real life. Seize the day! 😀

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[kenkayhen]

You’re right, I do have a lot of trouble with just being social and coming up with flirty comebacks. He just makes me so nervous. Your advice is really making me realize what I need to do, and would have helped a lot, but now someone else is playing in his spot 🙁 so no alone time for us I guess. Maybe I’ll get another chance in the future. Thanks again 🙂

[AskApril Masini]

You’re very welcome! 🙂

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