[kate28]

Hi all I’m 28 and have 2 children with my partner of 9 years in these 9 yrs we have been thruogh alot break ups, make ups and alot of arguments but things where going really well we were thinking about getting married and the future looked good but over the past 2 months ever since he found out his ex was pregnant (ex is acualy 8 months gone) hes got his narst and unbearable to live with back he is constantly accusing me of cheating on him i have never cheated on him and as far as i no he has never (also i would like to see how this happens as i have a 2 yr old attached to my hip 27/7) i have said this to him but he just said i probably put her in the other room i was fuming at this. why is he so nasty? id say 98% of our arguments are about sex he says it isn’t enough and he wants me to relieve him just him (i think 2 kids and 2-3 times a wk is bloody good). we had a massive argument the other night and it nearly ended in fists he got rite in my face and told me i have nothing (i thought being in a relationship was give and take and sharing) we have been down this road before and i tried to leave but as i have no where to go and no money i feel like a prisoner. I also feel bad in wanting to go because of the girls i no its not fare on them,
I think im just peed of for being blamed that i start the arguments and im being strainge but how can i not get angry when he constantly goes on about me playing with him just him i wouldnt mind doing it but its the way he mentions it he just aint loving about it atall the more he mones the more i get turned off its catch 22.
but i also no if i leave and take the girls he will make my life hell he dose it now telling me i dont feed them rite they have too much chocolate and i play to ruff even though they are laughing.
i think what i am saying is how do i stop this and have a happy home i have mensioned counciling but its not him its me well i thought this was a relationship i dont no what to do now im going insain
He constantly puts me down by commenting on my weight how i look and spelling and I’m getting cheesed off with it. If i tell him its over he tells me to get out but I’m not aloud to take our children as i am not a fit mother and he can provide better for them and he says I’m being selfish to them if i take them out of there home and away from him (i no this is rubbish i am a bloody good mother). I just don’t no what to do please help me

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like you’d like to leave your man, but you don’t have the financial means to do so, and so you feel stuck. Rather than looking at all the derivative problems, which is easy, you need to face the hard cold fact that you need to find a way to support yourself and live without him.

My advice is to turn to your family and ask them if they’d be willing to take you in until you get on your feet. If you have parents who can babysit while you look for a job and then childcare, you can give yourself a fresh start. It won’t be easy, but it sounds like you’re in a bad, long-term dynamic with your boyfriend.

You have to decide what you want and focus on it. If you just complain about problems instead of productively dealing with them, you’ll stay in the same rut you’re in.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go — and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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