For more than a year I’ve been involved with a guy who has a long-term girlfriend. My history with this guy goes way back. This guy has expressed interest in me for years; during my last relationship he would constantly text me inappropriate things and it got to the point that I ignored him and eventually told him to leave me alone. Even though I ignored him and asked him to leave me alone, it seems like time would pass but he would inadvertently always communicate with me in some way. When my previous relationship became rocky, I started actually talking to this other guy… and it was obvious that we weren’t “just friends” however I also learned that he was now in a relationship. Due to distance, our relationship was strictly phone/text. About a year ago we became closer in distance (still a multiple hour car drive though) and became physical with each other. It makes me disgusted to admit but our sex life is incredible.
I’m in this situation where I feel awful for “being the other woman” which I know is terrible thing to do to someone. Also, it’s a terrible thing to do to myself — there have been times when he is with me and he leaves my apartment to go call his girlfriend to avoid “getting in trouble”. It’s just really degrading and shady. Why do I keep doing it? I don’t really know. There have been several times that I tell him that I can’t handle this, that it’s unfair to me, etc. He basically goes on and on about how much he likes me and wants me and how he would be “absolutely effin livid” if I moved on and he didn’t “have” me anymore. He says that he can’t break up with his girlfriend right now because she would be devastated and he says he doesn’t know how to break up with her. He constantly reminds me how terrible he would feel “IF SOMEDAY” he wants to get me back and I’ve already moved on. I pointed out to him “if someday”? And his response to that is “I’m pretty sure that’s how it’s going to be but I have no idea when and that sucks”. I don’t know what to make of this situation.
I know this situation is wrong, and is beneath me but I’m having trouble really cutting the cord with him. I feel like he manipulates me in some weird way. Any advice on how I should handle this? Things I should say in response to him? Any advice is much appreciated.
