[Preeti26]

Hi,
shivi this side, I am in a big relationship problem,in a serious love with a guy from last 6 years.he is not settled yet. I am quite stable as comparison to me though it does not matter to me. but i want to marry him. he is also a very good person i ever met in my life. recently i have talked him harshly and in a rude manner that i am regretting ma relationship, and want him and me to concentrate on our carrier and move on as i was upset due to his carrier than i realized my mistake and i called him.he dint receive my phone and than i reached his office he meet me. he was super tensed depressed. he told me he had a fight with his parents due to some money issues. he will not go to his home again and finished every relation with them. he told me to stop the relationship with me to for my betterment. he want a single life away from anyone. he is saying try to not talk to him and den i will be use too. he said he was trying to say this thing from last 8 months. there will be no future. he is saying me to marry another men. i said sorry for everything what i said to him he said he is very happy that i have chosen carrier my priority he is not at all upset. i asked is there anyone in his life. he told me he hate gals he dont want to marry anyone. its wastage of time he want to enjoy single hood. after marriage there is no life he dont want to destroy my life. so please advice me as i love my guy very much what can i do right now and what he want,

[AskApril Masini]

How old are you both?

And have you been dating for 6 years?

[Preeti26]

he is 25.5 and i am 26. we are in relationship from last 6 years.

[AskApril Masini]

It sounds like he’s not interested in marriage — after dating you for six years — and you are. This is a major incompatibility. 🙁 Since you know what you want for yourself (marriage), then you shouldn’t waste any more time with someone who’s not interested in the same life goal. Get out there and meet someone who wants what you wants — with you! 🙂

[Preeti26]

I dont think so, as he is in deely lve with me. Right now he is in a very bad mood tats why talking like this otherwise always we use to plan of marriage talk of marriage, he has left his mba preparations only cz of me cz I cant wait for 2 years. Right now he is very tensed and frustrated from last 3 years tats why he is saying like this.he have stopped every contact frm is family too.

[Preeti26]

when he in a good mood we always talk about marriage. but he is strugling with his carrier this time. and his faily is also not supporting with money. I can see this in his eyes

[Preeti26]

hey reply main thing is settlment, from 6 years he is always good to me infact everytime when he had a fight wis parents due to finacial prolem, he pull me away.but in ormal mood he always tell me yes we will marry, he will tok to his parents.

[AskApril Masini]

When he told you he wants to stop the relationship for your betterment…. he’s telling you he doesn’t want to be in a relationship any more. He may love you — but he doesn’t want to be with you. That’s why you wrote me.

It sounds like my advice hit a nerve with you. I’m sorry — I didn’t mean to upset you. And if you don’t agree with my advice, you certainly don’t have to take it. 😉

[Preeti26]

yeah are you a expert???
as he stops every relation with his family. and everyone he is depressed,stressed frustrated with his life.otherwise its not so easy to things let go.

[AskApril Masini]

Good luck! 🙂

[Sally]

It feels like the ground drops out under you all at once.
From how you describe it, he sounds overwhelmed and shut down. Not just with you, but with life, money, family, everything. When someone says they want to cut off everyone and be alone, it’s usually not because they stopped loving you. It’s because they don’t feel strong enough to carry anyone else right now.

What he wants, at least in this moment, is distance and control over his own life. You didn’t ruin this by one harsh conversation. This has been building inside him for a while.

What you can do right now is the hardest thing. Step back. Let him breathe. If you chase him while he’s in this state, it’ll push him further away. Love doesn’t disappear overnight, but it also can’t grow where someone is drowning.

Take care of yourself first. If he comes back, it’ll be because he chose to, not because you begged.

[Member]

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