[sammylee300]

i am a 24 year old female and have been dating my boyfriend for the last 5 months. before we became official he discussed his interest in wanting to go back to the army which would mean he would move to brisbane. as i am still at uni i have to remain in sydney for the next 12 months. firstly im feeling very insecure about him leaving as i have never had a long distance relationship, im scared im going to loose him or that he is going to find someone else closer to where he is living. secondly he has 2 children and is in contact with his ex wife who is an absolute maniac although i have never met her she is already telling him that i will never be able to be around their children etc. i feel this is putting strain on the relationship as they text everyday and he only briefly mentions what they are talking about in the texts. i want to bring up how im feeling but dont want to come across as a complete looney or push him even further away. please help i dont know what to do.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like his decision to move away from where you live came as a shock to you. After five months of dating, without any mention of a future together, it’s understandable that you’re concerned about your relationship. Long distance relationships are not for everyone, and they’re a lot of work — especially for those who aren’t well suited for them. 😕

I think you’re mentioning his ex-wife and their relationship because you’re nervous about the long-distance situation. The truth is that if you were in the same town, you’d still have to deal with his ex-wife, and frankly, ex-wives are as important as in-laws. They CAN make or break your relationship if your boyfriend doesn’t have clear boundaries. You’re right that there will be a strain, but to tell you the truth, all blended families are strained sometimes — some more than others. So if dating a man with kids (and getting the baggage of his ex-wife), is too much for you, this is a very good time for you to reconsider moving forward.

But if you want to, my advice is to wait and see what happens, at the same time, balancing your focus on what you want for yourself. I know you’re anxious, but it really sounds like you’re anxious about the long distance, and since your boyfriend is committed to this, the best you can do is see what happens.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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