[Anonymous]

Dear April, I met this guy and we had an instant connection we also had a lot of fun together , and he seemed like he really liked me because we would go out to eat and to the movies and fishing and other fun stuff.He bought me a bracelet. He introduced me to his family , and I would go places with him and his family and they liked me, but after awhile he seemed like instead of a relationship he just wanted sex.cause he started talking to girls at school with a bad reputation.Also younger girls then him because we are 18 and the girls he started talking to are 14, 15, 16, and I found out he met this 17 year old girl that was at our school taking her g.e.d test and then hooked up with her that same day and he won’t even talk to me anymore because I am not like that.He will look at me a lot because we are in class together but he won’t talk to me anymore.Why did he start acting like this? is it because a relationship is more work then just having random sex?does it sound like he is afraid of getting to close to a girl in a relationship so he just has random sex with girls he doesn’t know?

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

There are some teenage boys who are carried away with hormones – and while it can be hurtful to you, it isn’t their fault. Their bodies are developing and the chemicals that cause development also cause intense sexual feelings for boys who are your boyfriend’s age.

I’m sure your boyfriend has emotional feelings for you, but he’s carried away with his feelings about sex, so that’s what he’s pursuing in these other girls. The younger girls also look up to him more because he’s older than them. At 13, 14 and 15, the age gap between their years and an 18 year old boy’s seems a lot greater than two people with that same age gap in their 20s or 30s or 40s. An 18 year old boy usually has a lot more life experience and sexual desire than most girls of 13, 14 and 15, so he’s exotic and interesting to the younger girls, and for a lot of girls who are insecure, he’s a status symbol.

I’m sure he loves you — otherwise he wouldn’t have introduced you to his family and taken you on the dates he did — but his sexual desire is what is driving him right now, and he doesn’t think of you as someone to experiment with and move on from. Take it as a back handed compliment. Random sex with strangers IS a lot easier for him than a real relationship and it’s all he’s really after right now.

Eventually, that will change. But for now….his behavior falls in the range of normal.

I hope that helps you understand your situation better.

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