[Domaris]

Well, I will need your advice on this.
I am very interested, well a bit more interested than I should, with a guy that I work with. We are both single with no relationships at the moment. It started with him showing more interest than normal in my work and later saying that he found me a very beautiful and interesting woman.
We started chating at night, after we left work, all nights til today since about 1,5 months, we talk about everything and with some sexting also. At the beggining he said to me that he doesn’t date women from work, but instead of stoping the night chats, he continued and when we are at work he tries to see me and be with me at coffee time. He says that he’s very attracted to me but as we work together doesn’t want anything more.
But the sexting continues and when we are together at work he tries, when possible, to be near me, putting a hand at my back, saying that he wished to grab me and be with me.
Well, but he doesn’t do anything more than that, chating when we arrive home, be with me when possible at work. We both live alone, we don’t have children, so we have plenty of time off work.
He never invited me to anything after work, a coffee, a drink, a dinner, nothing at all.
I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have any women in his life, so the answer isn’t there.
But I don’t understant why, if he’s interested why not be with me? If he doesn’t date women from work, why does he continues to chat with me and wants to be near me and touch me while at work.
Today, when he said that he was going to have a drink with his friends, I got a little bit of courage and asked why doesn’t he invite me to a drink, a dinner, whatever …. answer, yeah we should go and than I asked, if he never thought about it ….. answer, yes I’ve thought of that and wished me goodnight and left.
Well, why didnt he asked me out?
I can’t understand, he shows interest and then nothing.
Just so you understand, I’m a very interesting women, inteligent and funny, I have my share of “fans” that I don’t give any attention because it’s difficult for me to be interested in someone.
It’s poor luck to be interested with a guy like this and I really don’t understand if he’s into me or not.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think you’re asking the wrong question. Instead of asking me why he doesn’t date you, you should ask yourself why you continue to invest energy in a guy who has made it clear he doesn’t want to date you. You can spend loads of time and energy trying to second guess another person, and many people do — but when you’re lucky enough to have a guy who tells you straight up from the start that he doesn’t date women he works with, and his actions match his words, you should believe him.

I’m sure you are awesome and amazing and very attractive, but it would be great to see you investing time and energy in a guy who actually wants to date you — not one who tells you he doesn’t. 😉

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[Domaris]

I believe you are right, I better stop this nonsence right away.
Thanks 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The irony in this is that once you move on, he’ll see you as a lot more attractive. 😉

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[Domaris]

You’re probably right 😉
I stopped answering the sexting messages, answered some of his messages in a polite and friendly way as I would answer any other colleague and only with everyday related issues.
and he started liking my posts on facebook (we are friends of most of our coworkers) and in one of the comments I was saying that sometimes at lunch I went to a very good pizzaria and he posted that we should go there lol I ignored his message.

well, I’m moving on and our relationship will be equal to the relationship that I have with everyone else in office.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Sounds good.

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