[beachxgirl718]

okay so me and this guy went to high school together and he’s always had a thing for me. I go away to college which is 4 hours from home and he goes to school at home. over winter break, we had been hanging out and having sex. we had a long talk one night and he told me he wants things to be great between us, and we should see where things go. he would contact me a lot, but we’d always just go to a bar and then hookup, or id go to the bar, and he would have work and then he’d pick me up afterward and wed hookup. so one night I asked him if he cared about me and he said “what do you mean, as a friend, yes absolutely.” and then I told him I had feelings for him and he said “i mean you go to school 4 hours away what can we accomplish by getting into a relationship” and then I backed down and said “well I’m not looking for a relationship, and I’m down to have sex but I just didn’t wanna put myself in a position where I can get hurt” and he told me “yeah but at the same time if you’re down, you’re down” and I said “what?” and he said “nothing, I understand. its just hard to catch feelings because I know you’re away at school.” the Friday night before I was going back to school he came over and we talked and hung out for 2 hours. he was saying how he wants to come visit me. I had plans later that night with my girlfriend, so later on after I went out I called him and he came to pick me up (it was 5am) and then said he was gonna drop me off, and I said “what? I thought we were hanging out?” and he said “no, I’m tired its 5am” and I said “what was the point of picking me up?” and he said “because I wanted to say goodbye to you before you left.” we talked a little when I got to school. and then a few weekends ago I was home, and we ended up hanging out Friday night and he was like “i really wanna come visit you.” and then we messed around at his place, but his mom woke up so when he was driving me home he said “can you just graduate already?” and I said “why?” and he said “so you can have your own place and we can drink and hang out.” and I said “and have sex” and he said “well I mean that’s a bonus.” I got back to school and decided to text him one day and I said “did you have feelings for me over break?” and he said “what does it matter now” and I said “i feel like you’re using me for sex” and he said “why do you feel that way when we talk and sh*t” and I said something else and he said “what do you wanna hear, you’re so far away” and now I find out he’s dating his ex girlfriend again. meanwhile, I just came home for spring break and a few days ago he was texting me telling me he wanted to see me over break and hang out. I bitched him out when I found out that he’s dating his ex, and within a minute of me sending the text he called me, then texted, then called again. then a few hours later he texted again, and the next day he texted. (that was a thursday) and then Sunday he texted saying “so I still don’t hear from you” then we had a whole convo a few weeks later and it went like this..
i said: “listen I just can’t hook up with you anymore when I know there’s someone at home. do your thing, but I’m not gonna be the other girl. I’m cool with being friends but I can’t do the other sh*t.”

he said: “what happens bw me and you is bw me and you..idk what you do at school, I don’t ask..im just saying let that be bw you and whoever and let things be bw me and whoever. and what we have lets have it.”

i said: “okay but my feelings are involved. you’re doing whatever at home then I come home and we f***. I’m not just going to be some girl you f*** when I come home and I’m convenient”

he said: “ohh because you being away has no effect on me? its not about you being convenient, its about the fact that were in different places and you want more than what we can have right now.”

i said: “ok so clearly I want more, and you dont. we both want different things which is fine. you can do whatever you want, but I’m not putting myself in that position because I will get hurt.”

he said:”its not about me not wanting it! its about the fact that it can not happen right now! you go to school 4 hours away and your blaming this sh*t on me.”

i said:”im not blaming you for me going away to school I just can’t hookup with you when I come home and know nothing is coming out of it right now.”

he said:”i really think that’s unfair..youre blaming me for wanting to hookup with you.”

i said: “im not blaming you, but you have to figure out what’s important in life and were both looking for 2 different things.”

he said: “not really..were both looking to have fun. you’re in college 4 hours away and now you’re telling me we can’t hookup anymore.”

i said: “no I clearly like you and want more. you don’t and have your reasons, therefore if I hookup with you you’re getting what you want and I’m not getting what I want.”

he said: “no stop it because that’s not it. if you wanted something for so long then say it..the only time I heard from you for the longest time was when you were drunk which is ridiculous and I can’t believe your using this whole going away to school and you liking me right now. it is what it is though..im kind of upset that you’re throwing this all at me and stuff but whatever.”

then he told me I was being selfish because I didn’t think about how he felt or what he was thinking about the situation. and I said “it doesn’t really matter if I told you then or now, the situation would have remained the same.” and he said “i doubt it, and you really don’t care as much as you say you did/do with that comment.” and he said we would finish the convo another time he’s trying to put it all into words.

what do you think about this situation? did he have feelings for me at all?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

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