[missriss]

Hi April!

I met this amazing guy about a month ago; we really hit it off and after the first night of us meeting he asked me on a date. Our first date was a few days after that night, and we went out to dinner and had a great time, so we followed up with another date. We went ice skating and, again, had a blast! During those first two weeks we would only text about once a day, if that (he is very rarely on his phone), and then the holidays passed so I didn’t hear from him for a few days. I knew he was at home with his family so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I ended up texting him on Christmas and we had a short conversation, and then I asked if he would like to come over to my house for dinner the Sunday after Christmas. He was very excited, came over and we had a great time. A few of my friends were over as well so he met them and they just adored him and all said that they could tell he really liked me. He then invited me to go snowboarding with him and stay the night at a cabin in the mountains with a group of his friends (there were 15 people there so it was a big group!). The whole time he was very affectionate with me, even around his friends and he made it very obvious that we were dating. This was about 3 weeks into our dating relationship. Still, during this time we hadn’t texted much because he would usually take hours to respond, or even wouldn’t respond until the next day. About a week after the mountains (we had texted a bit during this time and talked on the phone a couple of times, each time for about 30 minutes and we had great conversations. Also when he replies to my texts he very enthusiastically responds in long paragraphs to kind of sum up everything in one text) I invited him over to my house again because I was having a dinner party and then going line dancing (that is how we first met). I told him that some of my family would be there and even knowing that, he eagerly accepted the invitation. He came over, again was very affectionate with me around my family and friends, and we had a wonderful time. Whenever we are together we have so much fun and are both so happy and have a lot in common. I try to talk about important things to get to know him on an emotional level but he always seems pretty guarded. Flash forward to the present, It has been one week since we have seen each other (the dinner party and line dancing), and since then I have gone back to school (about an hour and a half from where he lives). We didn’t talk about what we were going to do when I went back to school and I didn’t want to be the needy one and bring it up. We have texted a bit and I called him once, again it was a great conversation, but now I have not heard from him in 3 days. I haven’t tried contacting him since we last talked on the phone because I have been waiting for him to contact me as I don’t want to act too clingy. I know he is busy with a full-time job and is applying for law school so he is very busy but I’m just very confused because when we talk, and especially when we’re together, it seems as if he really likes me but now after one week of me being back in school and not seeing each other I’m afraid that he really doesn’t have the same feelings for me as I do for him. Also as a side note, I am going to be starting an internship about 20 minutes from where he lives so I will be very close to him twice a week, which he knows about, so maybe he is just not worried about it and knows we will be able to see each other fairly often? What do you think? Thank you so much for taking the time to read this!

-Marissa

[missriss]

Oops, realized this is just on the forum and not directly to April haha so hi everyone!

[Ask April Masini]

I think your instincts are good. He likes you — but he may not be as into you as you are into him (at this point), and he may also not be ready for the kind of relationship you’re looking for because he’s got work and law school application processes — and he may be playing the field as well. I think you should give this some more time, but hold off on being the one to contact him. Give him the opportunity to show his interest by “sitting on your hands” and not reaching for the phone or computer to call, text or email him. Let him be the one to give chase — and if he does, dial up the flirtation, so he knows you really like him. And if he doesn’t, assume that he just wasn’t that into you — either because of the timing in his life, his playing the field, or a simple incompatibility that he feels more than you do. Time is going to be your best bet here. Stay busy, play the field, and if he shows up, awesome. If he doesn’t, that’s okay, too.

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