[Beks1205]

Both my partner and I are in the military so we have various situations of not being around each other or our work schedules just are not the same.
We started as a friends with benefits kind of thing purelynfor that reason but things moved fast. A couple weeks of being around each other everyday he came home with me for a holiday weekend. After that things were great. We rarely ever argued unless it was over something so small even then it was rare. Everyday and every night we spent together. I started loving him for always being there and making me laugh everyday and knowing how to make me feel like I was on top of the world. He has never gone in depth with his feelings toward me but i can see it in how he looks at me everyday. He wanted to take me home to his family and we taked about getting married and having a future.
He departed for a field operation over a month ago and we were in a great place. He missed me, he sent me somg titles to listen to, we talked every chance we had and he even admitted he was terrified that i would cheat on him while he was away. Of course i reassured him that i would never do that. I know how it feels all too well.
I left for my own operation a day before he returned from his so of course we were both very disappointed but nothing went astray right away. A few days with him back on our base and me gone he just stops talking to me for days at a time. So naturally i panicked and thought he was cheating or he just didnt care. He finally spoke to me and all of a sudden he does want a long distance relationship and throws his upcoming deployment at me as if we would have absolutely no communication while he is away. I called him to discuss further and he claims that i pressured him into a relationship and i hear him trying to remind me that it was not what he wanted but i never truly listened to him. We came to the understanding that once i returned home we would sit down and talk further because over the phone wasnt solving anything.
It honestly doesnt make sense to me unless he is running from his feelings because of a deployment. Either that or hes right and im just more into the relationship than he is and he just doesnt care as much as i was led to believe and i feel he resents me for it all.
I love him i really do. Hes my best friend and i can see a future with him-we both did. And suddenly its gone. And i have no idea how to handle it or if he’ll come back and realize he made a mistake.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Deployment has different effects on different people and he may be projecting his feelings about his deployment onto his relationship with you. In other words, it’s not about you, it’s about the stress and uncertainty of what he’s going through. When is he coming back from his deployment?

[Member]

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