[Prissy2009]

There is a guy whom I was pretty cool friends with for a few months. He was really sweet to me during those months. He would make direct eye contact with me, smile, open doors, buy me coffee and encourage me to live on the edge a little bit. He would also always say hi to me when he saw me. Overall he seemed to be comfortable around me and I liked messing with his hair (with his permission of course out of respect). I didn’t think much of it until now that I have been crushing on him.

Lately for the past few months he has been different around me. When I did talk to him, he would avoid eye contact with me. When I would look in the same direction he was, it seems he would intentionally avoid eye contact.

He always seems to always stand directly behind me on the wall at youth service as I sit on the back row which I never really payed much attention to until now. One time he sat next to me and seemed uncomfortable. He was fidgeting with his fingers in his lap which I’ve never seen him do before. He even reached “extra slowly” into his jacket to get something I guess not to make too much noise, but that made it even more noticeable. At the end of the service he stood up, turned his back to me and sat back down next to me for a few seconds before going into the restroom. I just wished I said something to him.

I’ve noticed his some of his friends staring at me from across the room during youth service, but I don’t think much about it. I decided to wear a knee length skit one day to service and saw him looking at my legs through my peripheral vision (which I don’t get he avoids eye contact, but can look at my legs?). He’s cool and comfortable around other girls and people in general the way he was once with me which makes me feel even worse.

Recently, I went across the street to meet with the same mutual guy friend (who is married) and was talking to him after service. He then came out of no where and began saying hi to our mutual guy friend and then went and stood a little behind me off to the right. When I turned to look at some of the guys that were in a circle talking on my right, I glanced at him again and resumed my previous conversation and he walked back to our mutual guy friend in front of me who gave him a compliment on his jacket and they proceeded to compliment one another back and forth in front of me.

First off, some of the things I’ve seen him note about him self in the past on social networking is that he is “socially awkward” and “insecure.” He is a really attractive guy physically and well groomed so he shouldn’t have a reason to be insecure! Two mutual guy friends noted to me he is weird sometimes and a little shy, not to take it personal. The thing is I NEVER once considered him to be weird at all when we were cool friends.

I walked into bible study recently which I haven’t attended in forever and he was happy to see me and said “Heyyy” smiling. Two of his friends (which I never knew talked to him were just staring from across the room which made me feel awkward. I’ll assume they were shocked.

What I want to know is what to make of this? Is he shy, or just not interested? I’m a little confused. Details are appreciated!

P.S- I’m 22 and he is 20 if that makes a difference!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If a guy is interested in dating you, he’ll ask you out on a date! 🙂 It’s pretty simple. There are no mixed signals here, though — it sounds like he’s already admitted he’s socially awkward and insecure. And he hasn’t asked you out. That combo is consistent. Men who consider themselves awkward and insecure aren’t quick to date. 😕 My advice is not to spend too much energy on him, and instead, find someone who is interested in dating you! You can flirt with him, and if he’s going to ask you out, he will — but don’t invest too much energy in someone who isn’t going to date you because of his own issues.

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