[Marriage troubleTaz]

Hi, my husband and I have been together for about 8 years now, I’ve cheated on him an amount of times with women and have just recently confessed this to him..I have now changed and dont feel like being with other women or people, (I think i was going through a phase) I love him but the problem I’m having is I’m not sure I’m in love with him anymore, he confessed that he cheated on me twice before, now that I know that I cant stop thinking about it and just dont feel like its worth the effort anymore… The problem is that we have 2 sons and have built a home together, I dnt want my boys growing up with seperated parents but thinking about what he has done to me really got me depressed and thinking lately, I’m not sure if its best for me myself to just walk away……Please help!

Confused

[Ask April Masini]

How old are you and your husband? How old are you sons? How long have you been married? Have you always been a bi-sexual? Did he know you were a bi-sexual before he married? Did you?

If you give me a little more information I’ll give you my advice. 🙂

Please join me on Facebook. Here’s the link for AskApril.com on Facebook: [url][/url].

[Marriage troubleTaz]

We’ve been together for 8 years but married for 4, I’m 25, my husband is 30, our babies are 3 and 6.

I’ve been bi sexual since I can remember, I think i was in standard 8 in highschool, he didnt know 4 sure but suspected coz he heard it from friends years ago, when he asked me, I denied it.

He caught me on 3 occassions already, I blamed being drunk both times, said I didnt know what I was doing. The second time he caught me, he ended up kissing the same girl i was, we fought about it, he blamed me, said that “he wanted to feel what I was feeling and thats how I saw it. The third time he caught me I was in a serious relationship with a butch girl who would pick me up at our home and call me constantly (it was pretty clear we were dating) I confessed it to him and wanted to leave because at the time I thought that with her is where i want to be. He then told my mother about “our problems”, the 3 of us then had a long talk about it on how to make things work and to get a sense of direction. (This was about 3-4 months ago)

My husband confessed to me of “all” the wrongs he had done, he slept with 2 women while married to me, everything was out on the table and we decided that we were gonna make things right for the sake of our kids and because we still do love each other but honestly when he told me that, my heart just sank, I’ve been feeling guilty all the while he was doing his own thing and lying to me as well.

Since then we’ve been working on our relationship, we’ve been going out more, spending more time together with the kids, we’ve both been blessed with better jobs, things are going great it’s just that I cant stop thinking about him with those other women and am not sure if he’s stopped cheating. His reason for cheating cant be because i was cheating on him because he never knew at the time he was cheating so I keep asking myself why? Is it because he’s a man and men are easily tempted or am I not enough? It may sound selfish knowing all the wrong that I’ve done but I’ve seriously changed and really want to make things work for the kids and myself, I just dont want to look back on my life with regret that I’ve married a cheating man.

[Anonymous]

Hi, sounds to me like you should find a bisexual girlfriend for both of you to share instead of you both straying behind each others backs, or perhaps together pick up ladies for 3somes as the ‘need’ arises for you both.
If open minded that might be fun for you both.

[Ask April Masini]

You both made big mistakes, but now your focus has to be on your children and raising them. Don’t let your feelings get the best of you. Regardless of how you feel you have to behave appropriately.

The only person who can tell you why he cheated on you is your husband, so if you’re brave enough to hear the answer, then you should ask him. If you’re not, then don’t ask the question. What is missing in your relationship, and has been for a very long time, is honesty. You need to start cultivating it within yourself and within your relationship with him.

But again, put the focus on being [i]a mother[/i] above all things. Your three and six year old boys need you to be consistent, steady and a good example for them.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and join me on Facebook. Here’s that link: [url][/url].

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