[mz.browneyes]

hi i have been with my boyfriend for almost 2years now thing were fine until i had family issues and then i went out with friends one thing lead to another i got drunk and cheated on my boyfriend and other issues came after and we been trying to work things out ever since because of what ive done i cant forgive myself and now i am always thinking he out doing something he shouldnt and because of that our relationship going down hill 1 min he telling me he cant wait to see me and the next he wants to break up i really do not understand and now he is not returning any of my phone calls or texts and he told me he do not want to be in a relationship with me anymore do he really mean it i love him so much and stoped all my ways just so we dont have arguments anymore i really do not understand i need some advice please
signed very desparate

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like he’s broken up with you and it is over. I know you want forgiveness for cheating on him, but just because you want it, doesn’t mean he’ll give it to you. 😳

You wrote that you don’t understand, but he’s made it pretty clear that he’s upset about your behavior, and although the two of you have tried to work it out, getting over a betrayal isn’t always a straight line between two points. In fact, some people never get over a betrayal. Those who do work hard at it. But if one person doesn’t want to work hard at it, you can’t make them. 🙁

I’m not sure why you cheated on him, but blaming it on getting drunk, is probably a mistake — because it makes him think that any time you drink, you may make another bad decision. That’s not a great situation for any boyfriend to be in, having a girlfriend who is loyal except when she drinks. 😕 My guess is that there are other reasons that you cheated on him. When you understand what they are, you’ll be ready to make the real changes that are available to you. But make those changes because you want to for YOU. And if he sees that you have, then he’ll have the choice to reconsider the relationship again or not.

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[mz.browneyes]

what should i do to get him 2 change his mind because i still want to be with him i love him so very much i pretty much stopped talking to everyone (exes) just to make him happy and how come he dont want to talk to me he is leaving me out in the dark about everything he told me to go with the flow what does that suppose to mean.should i give him space because he ask for it alot but i keep calling him and texting and i never got a response back and that what lead him to say he dont want a relationship does he really mean it or did he just say that so i can leave him alone do you really think he wants to break up or does he juz needs lots of space away from me and if i do give him space how long do i have to wait to contact him again after the way i kept calling him and texting him it looks like i pushed him further away then he was already is it time to move on or should i just go with the flow and wait
signed despartate woman…..

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I feel your pain. 😳 And it’s good that you acknowledge your desperation — but you need to understand that desperation is not attractive. It’s the opposite of sexy. 😳 I know you want him back, but you’ve made that clear, and now the ball is in his court. Continuing to contact him, behaving desperately, and begging — or stopping something just short of that — isn’t going to make you more attractive to him. And, it’s just going to remind him of the fact that you made a mistake.

Making the changes that broke you up is a good thing to do — if you’re doing it because YOU think it’s the right thing to do. But it doesn’t guarantee you’re going to get him back. I know that you want him back, and you feel badly about what you did to drive him away, but sometimes the price we pay for our behavior is higher than we anticipated. I know this doesn’t help you get him back, but you need to understand why he left, so you can accept whatever decision he makes, in spite of whatever efforts you put out to get him back.

My advice is to let go now, and if he does contact you, then you will have an opportunity to be the woman who wins the guy and keeps him this time. 😉

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[mz.browneyes]

thanks for the advice i will keep you updated on what happemed thanks again

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome. 😀

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