[Miss M]

I had a job in a small town with the intention of working there for a year and maybe more. Within the first three months, I met this guy and I we hit it off from the start. He was everything I had ever wanted and wished for in a man in terms of personality and morals. We even got to the stage of discussing moving to the next level. This was before I started having troubles with my job and had to move states. He was there for me 100% of the way and we try talk every day through texting or skype. From our conversations, I feel like he still wants a future with me. I am tied down with this contract for the next 7 and a half months and will probably only see him again in October. Its been nearly 3 and a half weeks since I last saw him and I am getting to that stage of questioning myself: Is it worth the pain (been through long distance before)? how do I know if hes the one if I dont give it a try? Should I give up on us and move on? Do I really want to move back to that town if it works out? I think I am just confused and a little lonely and any advice to put my mind at ease would be great. Thanks.

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

Long distance is not for everyone because it’s a lot harder than in person/in town relationships. Your particular relationship doesn’t really lend itself to long distance because it’s only a few months old. I know you both like each other, but you don’t know each other that well yet, and it’s very soon to commit to a serious, long distance relationship that you’re contemplating. When you go to a new town, it’s easy to want to hold onto older relationships for security — but it isn’t always the best thing for you. Feeling uncomfortable because you have to start over and meet new people all over again, is often a good thing. The discomfort is a small price to pay for doing the hard work of figuring out who you want to befriend — and date.

My advice is to let go of this relationship because your distance doesn’t make the two of you compatible at this early stage in the relationship.

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