[soybean]

I’ve been working at a shoe warehouse for 3 months now. I’m nineteen and never had much luck in the dating field. The first day I started working I was instantly drawn to my manager, never feeling this way before in my life. He is 29 years old but to me age has never mattered. The thing is that as we’ve gotten to know each other I feel like he’s showing interest. He flirts a lot of the time we are working together and always wants me working with him. He winks, does playful pushes, buys me starbucks, makes fun of me (in a non-offending way of course) in front of other co-workers, and the way he stares in my eyes sometimes makes me feel like hes staring into my soul (im sorry im trying not to sound corny or anything) The other day actually he opened up to me the first time about his ex-fiance which i was surprised but it goes to show he trusts me. Oh! Im sorry im sidetracking. I dont know what to think of this but I was helping a guy with shoes, he wasnt bad looking, he was cute. So I finished helping him and I told my manager that he can deal with the men cause I dont know a lot about mens shoes and he goes “he wasnt interested in what you thought of his shoes.” and i go “oh really?” and he was like “yeah you should totally give him your number” and i said “no i think if he wants to ill let him make the first move” and he then said “no, i think you should make the first move.” my friends are telling me that he was talking about our relationship and i would like to think that but im not sure. he also is dating this girl who is also 19 and used to work there but quit before i even started. it sucks because i feel like im getting all these mixed signals and he’s still dating this girl, but shes not his girlfriend or so he says shes not…
if i could get some advice on what you think will happen and what i should do i would greatly appreciate it.
thanks so much, soybean (by the way, soybean is his nickname for me)

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

Your instincts are correct — follow them! ❗ You SHOULD NOT ask your co-worker out on a date. ALWAYS let the man do the chasing in any relationship because the bottom line is that men love the chase, and they love catching something great even more! If you ask him out then you’re denying him the opportunity to chase you and win you over. So don’t do it.

Second of all, there are no mixed signals here. Let me help you clarify. This guy likes you enough to flirt with you, but he also has a girlfriend. So you have to understand that men will sleep with women when they can simply because they can. If he flirts with you and wants to sleep with you, this doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to be your boyfriend, be monogamous with you or be your Mr. Right. 😕

So, enjoy the flirtation, but see it for what it is — just that: A guy at work you flirt with, but not Mr. RIght by a long shot.

I think at your age you’d really enjoy reading my book for women who are dating called Think & Date Like A Man that you can download here [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. It will help you understand what’s going on in relationships you have with men — and it will help you figure out who Mr. Right is and how to get him — and keep him.

I hope that helps. 🙂

[Kett Parry]

I think he is doing timepass with you because flirting doesnot mean he wants to commited with you

You are too young for him and he knows you are not that much mature to get, the difference between flirting and commitment

By reading your whole story it clearly seems that he only wants your body by impressing you so be careful donot fall for his flirting lines

[Trixie Ann]

Hi Soybean, For me, he is your manager, he’s older, and he’s already seeing someone, those are three red flags. Flirting at work doesn’t mean real intentions, and mixed signals usually mean he’s enjoying attention, not commitment. Don’t get the first move and don’t get involve with the boss. Keep it professional and protect your job and your feelings. If he actually wants something real, he’ll be clear and single.

[Member]

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