[LostBoy]

A year ago I met this girl and found an attraction to her, but was dating someone at the time so we just became friends. She had told me she had just broken up with her boyfriend and just talked to her, trying to cheer her up. After this i did not see her again for a few months and again talked a little but that was it. We sent each other requests on Facebook but never really talked.

Months went by and my ex i was dating at the time did not like i had female friends and forbid me to talk to any of them. Even though i never cheated on her,and was totally loyal to her, she still saw these girls as a threat to our relationship. Her insecurities had to deal with the last boyfriend she dated as he had female friend and left her for one of them.

I did not like the fact of not being able to be friends with my friends, and we ended up breaking up. After we broke up, the girl i met last year was on my mind on day and slowly started talking to her.

I began responding to posts she put on Facebook, but kept them friendly not flirty.

Soon we slowly started talking in private on Facebook. Not very often , but every so often, and through this and posts I saw her make on Facebook we slowly started seeing we have some things in common that we like.

I finally got up enough courage to tell her I liked her and asked her if she wanted to go out on a date or as friends. She was hesitant in her answer but said friends, so we talked about hanging out. However as the time drew near to hang out, she was involved with things , i was involved with things, so it never happened and she never brought it up .

Recently on Facebook she posted a picture of something she saw in a store and people commented on it, as did I. But underneath my comment she write she wants me to come down to see her so she can show me around to all these places she like sand thinks I may like too. I told her I would love to, but we have to organize our schedules as we are always running around.

Today again the topic of when to get together came up, and I have to respond to this message she sent me about it.

Sorry, i getting to the question, just giving a little back story here.

Over time as we were talking in private or reading her public posts on Facebook, I learned she had been married for over 15 years , and divorced as the husband was abusive to her. She also mentioned that she was interested in someone but when ever she asked him to see her, he complained about the distance as I guess they live in two separate states.

Me and her live in two separate states as well, but I have had long distance relationships before, and the reason they failed was I was willing to put in the commitment to see each other, but the girl i was dating would not. She vented to me in private about this as she was upset by his remarks about distance. I asked her is she was dating someone from another state would she travel to see them, she said yes.

Now because of the abusive relationship in the past she had, and from things i read she wrote, she seems to want to hide the pain by focussing on her career and hanging out with friends, and maybe a little scared in to getting into a relationship again, but wants one.

Also, some weird things have been happening. Her name for no reason would pop in my head and without thinking I would look at my computer and there would be something she just posted on Facebook or a comment someone responded to a post she made, but either way i would se her picture without even looking for it. She hardly ever posts stuff, and yes it could be coincidence once or twice, fine, but every day for weeks ??

A psychic medium told me it could be some psychic connection i have with her because i like her or something is meant to happen involving us. Not necessarily we will end up together , but who knows.

Anyway, FINALLY the question !

I do like this girl and if we do get together to hang out as friends as planned , obviously Im just going to have a fun friendly time, and see where it goes fro there. BUT if there is any interest in me more then friendship, how can I tell?

Also if she is nervous about relationships, I have dated woman in the past who were hurt in the past and ended up hurting me so because she has been hurt, is she even worth pursuing in more then friendship or just keep the friendship building over time and if its meant to be, it will be?

[AskApril Masini]

If you want to know if she’s interested in dating you, then ask her out on a date. 😉 If she says yes, then you’ll know she’s interested, and if she doesn’t say yes, then you’ll know she’s not interested. It’s that simple.

I don’t believe that men and women can be friends because one person always wants more than the other and this leads to confusion, miscommunication and hurt feelings, so I don’t think you should try and be her friend. Clearly you’re attracted to her and want to date her, so it’s time to find out if she’s interested in dating you, too. If she isn’t, then my advice is to move on and find someone who is. 😉

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