[veggiegirl]

I am very in love with my boyfriend and this is the first time I have ever felt love and gotten this far in a relationship and been so vulnerable before. He has never been in any other relationship accept with me. We have been together for 9 months and talk about being together forever. I have been having jealousy problems for a while ever since I caught on that his dream girl type is brunettes with big boobs. Which is complete opposite of me as I am platinum blonde and medium boobs. It started with when I asked who his celebrity crush was, thinking it would be someone who looks similar to me, and he said it was selena gomez. The second time was when his youtube page showed some provocative videos of girls on his watched list like “what happens when a babe walks around in her bikini” “nastiest girl on youtube” and more which all had thumbnails of brunetts with huge boobs, all the girls in the videos looked the same and we’re cosistent with similar looks. I took this as a shock when I saw this because he is such a gentleman and that was the first thing I fell for about him, and he brought it up to me that niether of us would watch porn ever and i agreed (niether of us have broke that), plus he sometimes tells me when I start trying to be sexy with him that he would rather not have sex every day that we see eachother (3-4 times a week usually). And also in my mind i had solid proof that he had a dream girl type which tore my heart apart. So now when we watch movies or go out in public and I see someone who fits his dream girl type I feel super jealous and can’t get over it no matter what. I have talked to him about my jealousy and why i have it he tells me I am his dream girl and and that he chose to be with me for my personality and because I am his bestfriend. Plus he told me he will not ever watch videos like that. I believe him on that but I always know in the back of my mind that he finds brunette big boob girls sexy. I know that he would never cheat on me and I trust him alot but I’ve always been very confident with guys and never have had this problem before. I just wish I could feel as though no other girl is sexier in his eyes than me and that I am everything he has ever wanted.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Since this is a first relationship for both of you, and I’m not sure of your ages, I’m going to guess that you’re both young, in your 20s. Here’s what I can tell you that may make you feel better:

Men don’t stay in relationships because of the way a woman looks. They stay in relationships because of the way they feel when they’re with that woman. Many, many, many men have left stunningly beautiful women who have graced magazine covers, movie posters and even soft core porn magazines and videos! Men stay in monogamous relationships because they feel happy, proud and lucky to be with the woman they’re with. Your jealousy comes from not knowing each other that well, and not processing the fact that he can have celebrity crushes on people like Selena Gomez, but can be faithful and happy with you!

What you can learn from his crushes and his taste in porn, is what he’s fantasizing about — and use that to your advantage! Have a little fun by surprising him with a brunette wig and a push up bra! Learn what he likes and use it to your advantage! Watching a little porn and not wanting to have sex every single day he’s with you doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, isn’t committed to you and doesn’t want a future with you. It just means he’s a little different than you thought he’d be, possibly a little more normal than you were hoping for and has created a little more of an opportunity for you to be flexible and creative.

It takes time to process these ideas, but I have confidence that you’re going to be fine once you realize Selena Gomez isn’t your competition. You are your own challenge! 😉

[Member]

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