[Lost190]

Hi I’m after any advice to help me understand my situation..

It starts by… I knew this girl for about 4 years and she then got with someone I know they were together just over 3 years but have since broken up.. It has been 3 months and for the last month and a bit the girl I e know for 4 years and myself have started spending alot of time together. Its been going great until this wk when she had a txt from her ex which has now started her feelings again for her ex.. We both said right from the start that it’s nothing serious yet as she had not long come out of this relationship. But she has now totally backed of I hardly hear from her and she just is not the same with me. We spoke last night and she said that her ex was the only one she has ever loved and given her all to and she is confused to how she feels about me now.. She wants to carry on with how things are with me but when I asked if her ex said she was sorry and to try again would she? She then said she weren’t sure. I went on to say I would b out of the picture then? Her reply was well no?! I have strong feelings for her and do understand that her feelings for her ex won’t just go away and I want things to carry on and c what happens. She agreed. But is still very cold with me!!! What the hell do I do? Let go and lose her or fight for her and risk getting hurt?!! Oh by the way I’m female as well

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like your friend is still interested in her ex and it hasn’t been that long since they’ve been broken up. My advice is to keep your ears open just in case she does start dating him again, but until then, just enjoy the relationship you have with her. It hasn’t been that long since the two of you have started to spend time together and I can’t tell from what you’ve written if the relationship you have with her is romantic or just friends, but if it is romantic, you’re really in the early stages of the relationship. This is when you figure out if the two of you want to continue investing time and energy in each other.

I know you’re trying to hedge your bets and not get hurt just in case she’s not all in, but that’s hard to do, and if you spend too much energy trying to guarantee you won’t get hurt, you’ll lose the essence of the relationship, which is what the two of you have together that’s special. So keep moving forward with her, until you hear that she’s either decided to get back together with her ex — or she decides he’s really more and more a part of her past with each passing day.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Lost190]

It was a romantic one which has now ended this weekend. She has basically said she loves and doesn’t want to move on from her ex and still thinks there is a chance. She also said that on paper I’m perfect for her but she is stuck in this bubble. Now I spoke with her ex who told me to look after her etc I then said I can’t cos she is still in love with you and that if there is anychanve that u will get back together pls sort it out. But her ex said no happy single and being happy and doesn’t feel the same towards her anymore. So now I no this it’s harder cos I just wish the timjng was better and she would just give me chance to help her move on but she won’t now it’s ended.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Since she’s definitely told you she’s still in love with and interested in her ex-boyfriend, my advice is to let go and move on. It doesn’t really matter what anyone else says or does — except for her. If she’s telling you, albeit indirectly, it’s still a no go.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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