[Anonymous]

I’m a senior in high school. My boyfriend is a junior. We have been dating for 2.5 months and have been friends for years. I honestly didn’t believe in love or relationships before him. However, he has done a really good job on convincing me otherwise. He has been nothing but repectful and kind. I trust him 100%. He said he repects my decision to wait on sex. We never argue and he quit smoking for me.

Anyways, I am heading off to college in three months. It will be 6 hour plan ride to visit him. I have flight passes and my family will still be living next to him. He really wants to do long distance for the year. Then he is going to join the Marines in the infantry section. I am not familiar with the Marines/Military or what it entails. But he is set on it. He asked my opinion and I approved before I really educated myself on the subject. Probably a dumb move.

Im trying to decide what would be the best way to go. I have always been afraid of relationships. As weird as it sounds, I kind of trained myself to having no emotions. He has started to break me down though. I want to be there for him. But at the same time, a year long distance into a three month boot camp into who knows what… leaves for a lot of uncertainty.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Honesty is the best policy, and you need to come clean with him about your interest AND your concerns. He’s going to be making a big commitment to our country, and it’s probably a little scary for him. He’d like to have some security in his relationship with you, but the reality is you’ve only been dating for a little more than two months, and you’re truly not sure where this will go since you’re going out of state to college, which is another commitment and adventure, just like his — but different!

I know you don’t want to hurt him, and that’s why you’re not telling him the whole truth, but you have to man up a little and understand that promising him something you can’t follow through on is going to hurt him more and over a longer period of time than if you’re up front and disappointing, but honest.

I hope that helps. Let me know how it goes.

And please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter. 😀

[Anonymous]

I’m going on the pill very soon. Should I tell him this as well? He is such a nice guy who I trust completely. I used to think all guys were douches. Excuse my choice of words. He is a virgin as well and I think it would be special to lose it to someone who is a virgin. I don’t know many guys nowadays who are this respectful. The only promise I made to myself which I intend to keep is to not have sex in highschool. I think it is cliche. However, I graduate in less than a month now. I don’t want to be one of those who regret doing it too early. But, I truly don’t think I will regret it. Basically, I am afraid I won’t find a guy worth loosing it to. And he is worth it in my opinion.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

My advice is no, don’t bring up the fact that you’re going on the pill because it doesn’t seem like it’s come up in the relationship yet. The last thing you want to do is push him into sex. If he wants to have sex with you, he’ll steer the relationship in that direction. The other reason why you shouldn’t bring it up, is that if you really care about him, you’re going to send him into a world of worry knowing that you’re newly on the pill just as he’s leaving to join the military.

I hope that helps! 😀 Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter.

[Member]

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