[thomasina]

My boyfriend is in $34,000 credit card debt from his and his ex-wife’s poor spending habits during their marriage. He is currently working to pay his debt off and has changed his spending habits. (While it takes two to tango, much of his debt stems from trying to make his ex-wife happy during their marriage by allowing her to buy new things and take expensive trips.) We’ve been together for three years and are now considering moving in together, as I’ve finished undergrad. We are from similar backgrounds, religions, political opinions, both want children, etc. In short, we are extremely compatible and extremely happy together. However, his massive amounts of debt really worry me. I would like to marry and buy a house in the near future and I worry that his financial situation would not allow that. Feeling secure is something that is very important to me. I don’t need a mansion, but I don’t want to worry about how to pay all the bills each month. I suppose it all boils down to the “love or money?” question. I feel torn between how I feel for him and making the right decisions for my life. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

[joe2424]

Wow! I’m glad I’m not the only one! If you’re happy, and your relationship is meant to be, then there you go! The things I would look at, is he was honest about his situation, and he corrected his spending habits. That tells me that he’s willing to change, and is doing what is necessary to fix the problem. That says a lot for his character. Financial security is very important to me also, but understand that debts can be paid off. When you get married, his debts become YOUR debts too. But, at least you know that going in to it, and not like that poor guy on the free credit report.com commercial! I say, live life, and be happy. If this guy is the one, then get married, be happy, pay off those debts, and buy a house. It’s just going to take a little longer thats all! Everyone is in debt now a days.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

I am here to help, and happy to answer any questions you have. 😀

[Member]

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