[MissMaddy]

So, the ex left our town 2 years ago, ended up getting married and now has twin baby girls (about 8 months old). They came back and he approached me about getting back together. We were together for 8 years. We are grown adults (mid 40’s) so please no stupid comments… After meeting and discussing everything for nearly 2 months we have a plan. His wife is a lot younger and literally psycho so came up with all the details because or some weird reason he is afraid of her. She controls when he can have have his cell phone, who he is allowed to talk to, etc. One day last week, I slipped at work and said something he said to me and they told her and she freaked out and of course told him. Now he is pissed and isn’t talking to me. Yes we all work together. Well, I realize he didn’t mean anything he said to me and I should have remembered all his lies when we were together but he kept telling me he had changed and wanted his family back. Well, now they are both acting very shady at work and she is making up rumors (a lot of them). I get she is hurt and only got his side of the story which was not the truth but come on, if she really wanted to have answers all she has to do is ask me which she will never do. I can not approach her at work because she will turn me in for hostile work environment and I will get into trouble. He had me create a fake email account so we could email back and forth on the evenings and weekends and I have tons of emails from him outlining his plan to leave her and how he doesn’t love her blah blah blah. Yes, this is about evening the score, I am not going to lie. She needs to read these emails. I want to give her that email login and password but the question is how. It can’t be done at work, I can’t text it to her, I don’t have their new address,, so I am looking for suggestions on how. Again, please save the judgment, I am not looking for that! I am just trying to figure out how to do this without running the risk of getting into trouble at work.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m really sorry you’re mad and upset. My advice is to recognize that you’re being played by this guy. I’d love to see you find someone who’s worth your time and energy. 😉 You’re being sucked into drama that isn’t going to end well for anyone. I know you want to even the score by hurting his wife, or breaking up their marriage because he’s gone back to her, but you all have to work together and this is going to create unpleasantness and temporary relief, at best. If you really want revenge, why not live well and move on? 😀

She’s the mother of 8 month old twins, and it’s pretty normal for marriages to go through rough patches with easy twins and an easy delivery — and not abnormal for marriages to go through very rough patches. Sex lives lag while babies aren’t sleeping and mothers are nursing and families are getting used to the big changes underway. I’m not saying you should feel sorry for her or for him, but you should understand what they’re going through. And if you empathize, great. If you’re still mad, I get it.

As for him — do you really want a 40 year old who tells you his wife won’t let him have his phone? I mean, c’mon. If you believe that, then the sex must be really great!! 😆 He’s manipulating you by telling you his wife is psycho (pointing fingers is not very mature), and he’s been using you to find some relief during a normal rough patch in his marriage following the birth of his twin daughters. 😳

Get out of the drama pit and find some great guy outside of the workplace to date. 🙂

[MissMaddy]

The man that I was seeing had a problem with a guy at work so I set boundaries for him and told him to stay away from me. well Tuesday morning he called me from another person’s cell phone which I thought was the other person and I answered and the guy that I’m seeing overheard his voice right away but it took me a minute to recognize who it was but when I did I ended the call. when I went to the man I’m seeing and asked if he was okay he said he was feeling fine and I asked asked What was wrong and he played it off like nothing was wrong what was wrong and he played it off like nothing was wrong. Long story short he ended the relationship because he said I was hiding things from him by not asking him about the phone call itself rather than asking him if he was OK but I knew he already knew so I was not skirting the problem Or hiding anything I was asking him to talk to me about it in my way which he still says I’m hiding things but I wasn’t because he was right there laying next to me so how could I be hiding things. I am so frustrated. what do you think??

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Is this guy who broke up with you the same guy from the previous post? The married guy with twins?

[Sally]

Sending her those emails won’t give you peace. It’ll blow everything up. At work. In your life. And somehow, he’ll still slide out of the mess while you’re left holding the fallout. Men like this are really good at that.

Here’s the part that hurts to admit: he didn’t choose you. He chose secrecy, fear, and chaos. Again. The fake email alone tells you who he still is. Married, scared, whispering promises instead of actually leaving.

I get the urge to even the score. I really do. But revenge ties you to him longer, not frees you.
The safest, strongest move here is distance. Stop engaging. Save the emails for your own clarity, not her punishment.
Walking away quietly is the one thing he can’t control. And it protects your job, your sanity, and your dignity.

[Tara]

What you’re asking for is reckless, illegal-adjacent, and stupid, and the fact that you’re framing it as “evening the score” tells me your judgment is already compromised. There is no clever, safe, or consequence-free way to hand over those emails because the moment you do, you become the villain, not the truth-teller. HR won’t care about his lies, her behavior, or your wounded pride; they will care that you participated in deception, harassment, and workplace drama, and you will lose. He used you as an escape hatch, fed you promises he never intended to keep, hid behind a fake account like a coward, and the second things got messy he vanished and left you exposed again. Now you want to burn everything down for a man who already proved he’ll throw you under the bus to save himself. Don’t deliver the emails. Don’t contact her. Don’t escalate. Lock the messages away for your own protection, disengage completely, and keep your mouth shut at work. Revenge won’t give you power here restraint will. If you proceed with this fantasy of exposure, the only person whose life you’ll successfully destroy is your own.

[Member]

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