Got it. Thanks for clarifying. I’m not sure how old the three of you are, but since you say your heart is with your friend who has a shorter life in front of him, then my advice still stands: Decide if you want to marry him or not. Know that the marriage will be short term, and decide if you are willing to marry someone who will likely pass away shortly. I’m so sorry to be blunt, but you sound like you’re taking care of him, and I want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself, too!
Don’t marry him out of guilt, and try to foresee what a marriage to someone with stage four pancreatic cancer will be like and what your day to day life will be like, and if this is something you want to do and are able to do considering the toll it will take on you in such a position. Consider that you don’t have to marry him to still be there for him.
Regardless of your decision, understand that your other guy (the one who remarried and then divorced) chose to not marry you in 2003. He picked someone else even though you were very much in his life and committed to him romantically. The big question I’d ask you to ask yourself, regarding his latest talk of marriage to you is: Why now? Is this a way to keep you away from this other guy? (I think he’s jealous and feels threatened.) If he divorced in 2005, he’s been available to marry you for five years now. Again, why now??
Good luck and let me know how things go.
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