Hi,
My wife and I have been married since 1999. Since 2005, we’ve had problems. I attribute most of the problems to myself. I didn’t do what I needed to maintain our relationship in addition she says that I was verbally abusive and menacing. While I never cursed or called her names, she says my words hurt. She left in 2009 after she said that she had given me many chances to change. Initially I was very hurt and begged for her to return but after 6 months and her telling me “I think you should go out and date”, I did. We went as far as contacting an attorney and doing the preliminary paperwork (including paying $800 for fees), but we never finished. We’ve been in this status since then.
I have since decided that she was the best thing for me and I wanted to make it work but I haven’t been getting any affection from her. Everytime I ask her where we are going with our relationship she tells me that, she’s scared or she can’t be what I want right now (she’s now a full time student). I started to suspect that there was someone else in her life but I never had any proof.
Here’s the twist, I had some time alone at her house and I looked through her things. In her drawer I found several intimate greetings cards. They were all signed “Me”. I know that I didn’t give them to her and I also know that I’ve given her many cards which she has none of. I confronted her about this (but I didn’t tell her what I found) and she denies it. Says she has gone on a few dates but she’s to busy with school to be focused on a man.
I’ve been supporting her and our kids financially while she’s been a full time student. She also maintains health insurance as long as we’re married.
Is she holding on just for the benefits?
Should I move on?
Should I tell her what I found?
This is really eating at me. I want to be with her but I feel like she has fallen out of love with me and there’s nogoing back.
Pleas Help.
