[tutu22]

I have been with my husband for 14 years, high school sweet hearts since age 16, married for 7 years. We have 3 young children, and I am, in general, pretty happy with my life. Things arent perfect, but I am content. I have never identified as anything orher that heterosexual. But, because I settled down so young, I never got to explore my options. Recently a friendship with a female coworker has become more. We have both expressed that we have a crush on eachother, and have even had a brief moment of neck kissing/rubbing. We talk everyday via text. She ish also in a long term relationship with a man. Im stuck. I really really like her, I think I may be falling for her. What do I do? Whats my next step? I dont want to leave my marriage for a crush, but I also want to explore thetse new found feelings. Help me!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, this situation is more common than you may realize. Second of all, the bottom line doesn’t change: You have to decide to stay married or leave the marriage. Cheating is cheating whether it’s with a man or a woman, and because you have children, cheating or not cheating and simply divorcing will both (eventually) affect your family, so try to make a decision and follow through to limit the negative impact on your kids. Lastly, understand that feelings don’t have to dictate behavior. Just because you have a crush or sexual urges towards someone doesn’t mean you have to act on them. Everyone crushes during a healthy, long-term marriage. They even lust after others. It doesn’t mean they act on those feelings. So decide what you want to do and follow through.

I hope that helps!

[Member]

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