[Anonymous]

About 1 1/2 years ago I was dating and meeting a few guys on line. I joined one website briefly, 12 hours, and had a guy reply. He sent pics, I sent pics and we spoke on the phone and agreed to meet. I was excited, he was a much younger man than I (14 yr age diff). We met the very next night and hit it off SO well, and started seeing each other 4-5 times a week. After 4 months of dating, found out he was really living with another woman. By now it was too late to throw away feelings so we kept on. He was very unhappy but not strong enough to make a move. A year goes by and in this time I did date other men and tried to curb my feelings for him. It never worked. So then his gf found out, and of course it was bad for all of us. I dropped out of the picture for about 6 weeks, I was tired of being the other woman and felt I deserved better. The weeks went by, and there he was again. He had moved out, got his own place, and wanted to be with me. Things have been so wonderful for us the last 5 months. The holidays are coming up and he wont let me meet his parents. They don’t know anything about me, other than the brother told them I was the other woman and responsible for the breakup. It makes me feel so bad. He met my mother after one month, met all my friends and so on. My mother knew his situation, and accepted it. He is in his early 40’s, me 55. He has never been married and still very close with his parents. I told him that no matter what he has done in the past, his parents only want to see him happy and they would except me. He is just too afraid to spill it out and tell the truth. Should I just chill about this, and he will tell them when he is ready? Sometimes I feel it is all about HIM and what he wants…… It’s hard for me to hide the truth no matter what happens, I feel the truth always prevails…………

[Ask April Masini]

[i]Run![/i] 😮

This guy is no good for you. 😕 In fact, when you wrote, “Sometimes I feel it is all about HIM and what he wants…” [i]you hit the nail on the head![/i] This guy acts like a child. [b]He[/b] wants what [b]he[/b] wants when [b]he[/b] wants it. He’s not truthful, and it’s not a surprise that he’s never married and is so close to his parents and won’t let you meet them. They’re the source of all this behavior.

Wow — don’t waste any more time with this guy who doesn’t really care about you — no matter what he says. His actions are [b]so[/b] clear. So, stop trying to trick yourself.

He doesn’t want you to meet his parents because he isn’t serious about having a relationship with you. He just wants you when [b]he[/b] wants you. And I hate to tell you this, but his parents will not like you 👿 because you broke up his last relationship by being ‘the other woman’ — and for all you know he may have another girlfriend right now that you don’t know about, since he’s already cheated on you (and you allowed it) once — not to mention his cheating on his girlfriend at the time — and his parents may really like this new girlfriend that you don’t know about, a lot. Trust me, there’s a good reason for his not introducing you to his parents. He doesn’t like you enough, and they won’t either, and he knows it. Sorry — but that’s the truth. 🙁

[i]I[/i] don’t think age is a problem in relationships, but I can’t imagine his parents are going to go for the age difference at all. Remember, this is their son that they’re close to, who’s never married. They are most likely going to perceive you, at 55 to his early 40s, as a threat to their relationship with him. Chances are they want him to continue to be their little boy, even at 40 something, and their family dynamic sounds twisted.

But enough about them! Whew! 🙄

You need to understand your true value in this world. Until you start treating yourself like someone who deserves to have a man all to herself, and who is entitled to be treated with (real) love and respect, you’re going to continue to find yourself in these muddles.

It’s sad for me to hear that you would allow yourself to stay in these situations where you’re not being treated like a valuable woman.

I hate to sound like a broken record, but you should really get my book, Think & Date Like A Man (you can download it here, tonight! [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]) and read it over and over and over — until you really understand how to behave in order to find someone who really loves and respects you — and to get them! Not share them, but to get them all to yourself.

So, don’t chill. Break up with this bad boyfriend immediately! And start focusing on yourself. There’s so many wonderful men out there who will want to be your boyfriend when you start acting like you deserve one of them!

I’m sorry for the brutal honesty, but this one and a half year relationship has gone on too long. It’s time for you to find some real love. 🙂

[Author]

Posts