[Smitten]

I am a 21 year old mechanical engineering student/military pilot in training

Last month, a church that my stepfather goes to went on a mission trip. I went along thinking of it as a good life experience and never thought that i would chalk it up as anything more than that. There were more girls than guys on the trip and i do flirt whenever i can, but there was one girl who i had not talked to previously before the trip (i assumed she was a typical pretty face, which i think are a dime a dozen), but boredom would drive me to talk to her on the bus one day, and i found out what a gem she really is. She is extremely independent, smart, loves the outdoors, and the only woman that has ever called my bluff successfully when i flirted. We talked about camping, hunting, fishing, and horseback riding (her four favorite things) and her dream of going to Alaska to go fishing one day (which i have done). Since the trip, she has been all that i can think about. I though she was pretty before, but now think of her as some Goddess decended to eatrh (as corny as it sounds). Traditionally, i am a ‘there’s plenty of fish in the sea’ kind of guy, but after realizing that a person like her exists, i know deep down that i cannot settle for anyone less than her. I have always been extremely shy and as a result never had a real relationship, i worked up the courage to ask her out only for her to say she dosen’t believe in dating, but rather ‘courting’… i have no idea what this means, and my only hint is from a websters definition- not helpful. i want to do what ever i can to be with her, but i have no idea what that is.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m not a hundred percent sure what she means, either, but I think what she’s referring to is slowing things down and before you even date her, you have to woo her in the old fashioned sense of the word. In English 😆 that means sending her flowers, love letters, showing up to carry her bags and really letting her know how much she means to you and how far you’ll go before she spends time alone with you.

Maybe, with your shy personality, this is actually a good thing because you won’t feel forced into behavior that is uncomfortable for you too soon.

I hope that helps!

Let me know how it goes, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Smitten]

Thanks for the advice April! We still joke and talk every other day-ish, i just wanted to make sure someone thought i had a chance, and charging hell with a water gun are good enough odds for me.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

“….charging hell with a water gun….” 😯 hmmm…… well I hope it doesn’t quite come to that! 😆

Get out of your head and enjoy what you can. In fact you should watch an old British movie called “A Room With A View” for some background on wooing — and see how romantic it can actually be.

Good luck! 😀

[daybreak]

Because I’m assuming she’s coming from a Christian perspective, I would imagine by courtship she’s meaning something more than wooing.

Courtship is essentially a way for Christians to determine if they want to marry one another.

This is how Nathan Bailey at polynate.net describes the difference between dating and courting:

“In the modern dating scene you usually hide all your faults to give a false impression about yourself, in order to keep your partner liking you. Recreational dating is about self-gratification — you date to satisfy your own needs.
Courtship is about open and honest exploration of each others lives and families leading up to engagement and marriage. Courtship is about marriage — you court in order to see if there is any reason why you shouldn’t get married. There is no romantic interaction until after the commitment to marriage.”

But Christians all have different forms of courtship. Some will not be alone with the person they are courting. Some will only court someone if that person gets her father’s approval first. Some won’t kiss or even hold hands.

Your best bet is to find out what she means by courting…simply by asking her.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Good thought, [b]daybreak[/b]! 😀

[Member]

Posts