[roxieb90]

Okay, so my story starts out with this guy who came to my workplace to help us out. (This is bit of a long story, so bare with me) Anyways, what I mean by him coming to help us out is we both work under the same company. Our store’s are just at different locations, but if a store needs help with getting a shift covered or needs a little extra help we are allowed to go in between stores.

Anyways, I noticed him one day over one of the summer months. I had just entered work & he just so happend to be there that day. He wasn’t there long & he didn’t really seem to try to talk to me but there was just something about him I couldn’t quite put my finger on. A couple months later, I wanna say about 3 months ago. He started to work at our store a lot more, a couple days a week to help us out. My first couple of times working with him it seemed like everytime I was around him I would catch him looking at me. But, when I would make eye contact he would slowly move is head down & continue working. (And this was several times) I didn’t mind him at all looking at me because I was looking back myself! Like I said, there was just something about him. He came off as shy & quiet most of the time never really tried to have a conversation. And when he would, he was always kind of quiet & I don’t want to use the word stand-offish, but maybe he was just uncomfortable? I mean at times looking back now I feel like I never really gave him the kind of response that he wanted half of the time. It wasn’t at all because I wasn’t interested, I was very much interested! And I still am, I don’t know why I couldn’t be super flirty with him half of the time. Even, when I really wanted to be! I’m the type of person that holds back, like I have to control my every move.

Eventually, as he was there more I noticed he would often try to approach me and talk to me. But he always seemed to hold back like he never quite knew what to say to me. I remeber one situation where he said something, and I thought he was talking to me so I turned around and said “What?” with a big smile on my face. He kind of whispered something, I never caught what he said. But we were both kind of silent more a min, and smiled at eachother and he said something else and when I asked what he said. He smiled and said nevermind and turned around. But then again like I said looking back some situations make sense now. Believe me I was feeling the same way. Like him, I’m also shy at first. Especially when it comes to someone I like. I also found it difficult for me to start a conversation with him, because everytime he got around me my stomach would fill up with the butterflies and my heart would start racing! I over analyze everything! I don’t like to not have control, I feel like if I don’t think about something before I say it, it may be something that person may be offended by!

He really just seemed so sweet, and I really wanted to be able to get to know him more. But, it seemed impossible more than most of the time. Then there would be days where he would act really odd. I mean he Isn’t much of a chatterbox, but some days I just felt awkward around him. I would try & get him to laugh & open up more but on these odd days he would have he never really tried to have a conversation back with me. But, he would talk to everyone else in the workplace? So every once in a while I would have my doubt’s and think I was just reading way to much into the situation. However, there were also times where he seemed to be excited to be around me. He would be very energetic, and smile at me, and I would catch his eye. Always offering to help me out and talking just a tiny bit more. But, it also seemed like when I would come in and the other girls would be working (They all have bf’s) he didn’t really try to talk to me. Or it would take him forever to try and approach me (Whenever I get a weird vibe, I kind of keep to myself) On the days where he would act odd, those were the days where I would try and be more playful with him, but he never responded like I would have hoped. I don’t always feel as if it was because he didn’t want to be around me, somedays I feel as if he may have been having an off day. There was a day where he was acting unusual, not only to me but to everyone else. Eventually I commented on it, “Are we crabby today Ryan?” but in a kidding tone trying to get him to smile. And very quietly, like he always is he never trys to talk loud reply’s with “No, I told you I’m tired” but he said it with a, I’m not sure how to explain it, with a laugh but quiet tone? But, it also seemed after I made that remark he started to try and start a conversation with me more, like he felt bad that he never really tried to talk to me the whole day. Maybe making me think that he was mad.

Anyways, I was out of work for alittle while (2 weeks, I go back Monday). So it kind of kept me away from being able to try and get to know him a little more and to get more comfortable around him to show him that I am a decent person and that I can be funny. I came back one day because our store was having a x-mas party. He happend to be working that day, I came in and waved to everyone and he waved back. But, not like a HEY I’M HAPPY TO SEE YOU! wave. I stayed at the party for a good little over an hour,standing in the back visiting with my other co-workers. Eventually, he was able to join us. But would have to leave every once in a while to take care of customers. He came back, grabbed his plate and moved to the other side of the table so that he was facing me. He smiled at me and I smiled back. At this point I’m not sure what is wrong with me,(It’s part of that whole control/over-analyzing thing I do) But I could tell he was waiting for me to start the conversation. But, I felt frozen like I wanted to talk to him but my body wouldn’t respond.

I can remember just standing there, thinking to myself. “Come on, you idiot say something to him so he dosen’t feel like you don’t want anything to do with him!” But, my reply’s would be short and I would have a hard time making eye contact with him. (And believe me at this point I’m really regretting all my actions)At this point, it was just me and one other co-worker. And she was like “Hey Ryan, did you see Roxie’s hair?”. Till this day I’m still trying to figure that hope response.I’m not sure wether to take it as a compliment or be concerned? either way I didn’t get to see his expression after she asked it because I wasn’t facing him.He then had to take off once again to help take care of customers and it was me and the other girl left in the back. He came back in, and stood next to me and was like “So I guess this is my last week here.” And he was starring at me when he said it with a sheepish smile (like he always has) as if he was looking for some kind of reaction from me. He then responded with “I don’t get why they won’t let me continue working at this store.” I was genuinely upset! Like I didn’t even know how to take the news! I even told him to ask why he wasn’t able too. I was very serious with my response! It’s like my heart fell into my stomach. Eventually the other girl spoke up, she seemed a bit uncomfortable when I looked in her direction, like she had an odd look on her face. Maybe because it was just me and him talking back and forth?

But, once again when I wanted to carry on a conversation with him we got interrupted. I eventually left, said goodbye to everyone including him, but he was busy. The sucky part is, it was his last week at the store. That was the last day I got to see him. I went back to the store about 2 hours later because I had to pick my sister up something. I was like too him “Hey! I’m back” in a really excited voice to him. He replied with a “Welcome back!” and smiled. Last conversation I had with him.

Now, this is the part where I guess I’m a little confused. It took me all my courage to send him a facebook request, I never did before because I didn’t want him to think I was a creep.I never got the opportunity to get know him like everyone else did at our workplace. (It always seemed like I had limited time with him, unlike everyone else. Like our schedules conflicted all the time!) I would even go out of my way to work on days I wasn’t suppose to just so I could talk to him more. (pathetic I know)But he was truely the first guy I have been interested in, in a long time! It takes me forever when it comes to these things. But he just seemed to hit me! Anyways, I ended up friend requesting him on facebook, like the rest of the co-workers. He accepted it, so I decided to send him a small message because I didn’t really get to say goodbye. All I said was “Sorry to hear it was your last day at the store. It was nice being able to work with you. Stay in touch with all of us.” He NEVER responded! I was a little taken back, I never expected him to write me a book back! Just a simple reply would have sufficed, to reassure me that it was okay for me to add him as a friend. The message by no means was met to make him uncomfortable, if thats even what it did. Anyways, I know he seen it because FB has that new thing where you can tell if someone read a message you sent to them or not. Not only that, he was liking all the other co-workers statuses!

If anything, it makes me feel hurt. I know I shouldn’t take it so seriously because it is only FB but still. I haven’t tried to talk to him since, I left it at that. If he wanted to talk to me, he would right? So, at this point I’m not sure what to think. I don’t even know if he even ever liked me like I thought he did. I feel as if it was all in my head, and that maybe he is just nice like that to everyone. And that maybe it was more on the terms of friendship, if even that! But, somethings that took place during our short time together still makes me wonder. It may not have been full on hitting eachother, chasing eachother around the store flirting. But just smalle things, like me catching him starring, and him smiling sheepishly back. And him being eager to help with out with something.

In some ways I feel like It’s mostly my fault (Actually it is all my fault). I never really tried to really show him that I liked him back. I would subtle flirt with him, I just never wanted to seem desperate. Not only that I get embarressed easily and I never wanted anyone else in the work place knowing I liked him. Which I shouldn’t be ashamed because everyone has a crush on someone at some point in there life. I just feel like I lucked out, like I could have started some kind of a relationship with him, even if was friendship at first. But I NEVER got to work with him! I never got to be able to get more comfortable around him to show him my true self. Maybe because I’m so shy when it comes to guys I like, I can seem to come off cold and uninterested. Because my mind is trying to figure out the next move!

I know everything happens for a reason, and what is ment to be will be. But I can’t help but wonder. I feel like I shouldn’t even try now, he is leaving for college next month. Whats the point? He dosen’t even try to reply to my message. I guess my question is, was there something kind of there, or was it something that was only in my head? That I was reading him wrong, because he is so shy and sweet. Should I just let it be? And maybe hope I get that second chance someday? Sorry for the book! I just needed to tell the whole story!

Heartbroken.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]I guess my question is, was there something kind of there, or was it something that was only in my head? That I was reading him wrong, because he is so shy and sweet. Should I just let it be? [/quote]

It was all in your head because you never took the opportunity to show him you were interested. 😳 The way to do that is to flirt with him. If you don’t take the opportunities life puts in front of you, you’re going to have regrets.

Learn from your mistakes, and next time you meet a guy who is interesting, flirt with him, so he has some idea that you’re interested in him. 😉

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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[roxieb90]

Would you happen to have on insight as to why he won’t even respond to my message? It’s getting a little easier each day for me, but I’m always left with wondering why?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He didn’t respond because he doesn’t think of you as someone who’s interested in him. 😳 So he’s not interested in responding to you now. 😉 To him, you’re someone he was interested in at one time, but who didn’t show any interest back, so he’s moved on. He has no interest in connecting with you now.

Use the lessons you’ve learned here to find someone who is interested in you — and next time, let them know you are, too! 😉

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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