my boyfriend broke up with me around Christmas. nothing between us changed other than the title. i found out later his crazy brother who was kicked out had now moved back in around the time he broke up with me. we then went away for my birthday. we kissed and he bought me gifts it was a lovely time but he got sick during the trip and things changed after. he became cold and pushed me away and said he wanted space. i was confused. so i still continued to pester him because I knew he was scared and thought if he knew cared things would be fine. he messaged me back one day finally saying he did not abandon me and just needed time. i cut contact from him until a week later he finally messaged me saying they found out what he had. hyperthyroidism graves disease. he was on heavy meds also and told me he felt weird and pain. one thing I never did when we were together was sending naughty pictures. I thought because it was something he always wanted it would cheer him up. he responds “SSsssTTOOpp :'(” and i asked if he liked, 2 which he responded with a “maybe” a few days later I tried again and he did not answer. I felt ugly and horrible and said “sorry you dont like it” he responded “you’re just horny, I havnt been horny because my meds make me not want to have sex so chill” he also did not want to leave his room or even see me. i could not bare to watch this so i started writing to him and leaving cooked meals at his door b/c I knew he was not eating and thought this was something personal to cheer him up. he thanked me. but after that i never heard from him. i got upset because I was not sure if he was receiving them. he snapped on me saying i smother him and i am crazy. i understand where he was coming from. so me being stupid i put a bag of everything he ever gave me at his door with a letter saying in 24 hours if you don’t make up your mind i am leaving because I cant watch him like this . 24 hours passed and nothing. he had a friend return personal items to me. but anything i ever gave him he decided to keep. that is fine because they were gifts for him. my friend messaged him saying he needs to give me an answer and he said I did but she is blind. all he ever said was to give him space. that’s the one thing he wanted and the one thing I could not give to him. he messaged me saying “i just wanted to be friends but you made things hard so if i have to choose i would rather choose to not have you” and blocked me on social media. i am hurt because I feel that I caused this. I know him and this is unlike him at all. people change when they are sick and i pray he did this to push me away because he did not want me to suffer wit him. im scared he is really finished with me and will not give me the chance to prove I can give him space and welcome me back in to his life. I am lost and confused.
Does anyone have any wisdom or experience that they can share 🙁
