[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 1/2 years and we have been living together for almost a year now. Our sex life has diminished quite a bit and I’m lucky to get sex once every 2 weeks. His idea of initiating sex is asking me if I want to do it. If I say yes (which is almost always the case) he just lays there and waits for me to make a move. If I don’t do anything…well, the moment passes. I really want him to touch me, kiss me, stimulate me…give me a massage or something. I just feel like he is a lazy lover and I’m tired of always being on top and doing all of the work, but I won’t get sex if I don’t. I’ve tried it…I went 2 months until I caved. How do I get him to come after me? How do I get him to be passionate and take me, chase me, desire me?

[Clara]

Check out my book called Romantic Date Ideas that I’ve written for couples. You can get it here [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/romantic-date-ideas.html[/url], and see if any of the date ideas listed will spark your sex life. [i]If you can get him more interested in sex by doing your work [b]outside[/b] of the bedroom, so that he’s anxious to get [b]into[/b][/i] [i]the bedroom, you’ll be a lot happier.[/i]

So, while what I’m asking you to do is to take responsibility for sex — I’m only asking you to take responsibility for [i]your[/i] part in it. In other words, I’d like [i]you[/i] to try spicing up what happens outside of the bedroom, so that when you get there, he’ll not only take on his part of the responsibility, [i]he’ll want to[/i].

Re-think your own image of what sexy is, and treat yourself to some new lingerie, a new haircut, or whatever you need to give yourself that boost of sexual confidence that all of us need after 2 years to switch things up! If you think he’s lazy, try giving him something to get excited about.

Let me know if that helps! 🙂

[Member]

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