[AOOI]

First, I am a Virgin. I have 1.5 years relationship with my current boyfriend. I am 25 years old and he is 40 years old. He is my boss in my workplace.
To be honest, I am from a violent and broken family, and my current boyfriend knows my family background. For 1.5 years, my current boyfriend really cares for me and really takes a very good care of me and my mother and my pets. My current boyfriend builds up the trust between me and him by sharing a lot of things with me.
Maybe because of my family background, I always make sure that I wouldn’t do anything to ruin my life. My current boyfriend knows that I have 2 ex-boyfriends before him but that was around 5 years ago and it’s only a very pure relationship (holding hand only and nothing more than that).
Of course, my first kiss is with my current boyfriend, he knows I have no experience and he guides me.
I have asked him about his previous sex life and he did told me that he has 3 ex-girlfriends before me and that was around 12 years ago and of course he have sex with them also, and after that he concentrates a lot in expanding his business and career, he also told me that in order to fulfill his “desire” he visited prostitutes for handjob, but not more than 7 times, I really don’t know whether I should trust him for what he has told me.
Last week, we went to Bali for short holiday and he proposed to me, I can’t give him the answer and I said I need 2 weeks to consider. But in my mind, I can’t really accept he has visited prostitutes before.

[lesterkiwi]

If you’re going to judge your boyfriend (and you are), then judge him on his present actions and not his past. Apparently he hasnt judged you on your family history, and from the sounds of it, he has acepted you for all you have to offer. Im not trying to condone going to prostitutes, what I’m saying is he respects you and trusts you enough to be honest about his sexual history. Trust me here, most guys would not. In the big scheme of things, that is something that probably would have been better for the both of you if he had not shared. But he did so you deal with it and move on.
Apart from this issue, it sounds like you guys have a great relationship. Ultimately you have to do what you feel you need to. If you cant get past this, then even if you do stay together it will have an affect on your realationship. My suggestion would be for you both to get some counseling on this. If you are open to that idea and are honest with yourself, you might find some of your issues about his past start with you.
You seem like a good person and so does he. I truly hope you both can work through this. If you take the time to read some of the other posts here, you will see your boyfriends past transgressions are small compared to what other women have to deal with.
Good luck.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Everybody has a past. You had a violent, broken home. He’s visited prostitutes and has had sexual relationships with ex-girlfriends. You won’t find a single person who doesn’t have some sort of history that has made them who they are today. Some people have children and ex-spouses. Others have legal problems. In other words….. baggage is a given, but the trick is to find “matching luggage”. 😉

If you can’t abide by his having visited prostitutes, then accept that and move on. It wouldn’t be fair to him if you accepted it, married him, and then held it against him. He’s telling you everything so that you can make an informed decision. But that decision has to be a mature one in order to make your life successful.

Know yourself. Only then will you be able to make the right decision.

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