[Anonymous]

My ex and I had a very heated break up and after I decided it’d be best to cut off contact. We didn’t speak for 2 months and in that time we both casually dated other people. Then, over a month ago, I felt I was ready to have him in my life again. The truth is, I was (and am) still in love with him. I contacted him and he was very receptive. We talked and texted for a bit before meeting up. We agree that it feels more natural to be in each other’s lives than not and he says he’s happy we’re hanging out again. We have been intimate on one occasion but have kissed often (I spend the night sometimes). When we broke up he told me he is not ready for a relationship, I understand and am not trying to change that. However, as we’ve hung out more and grown close again I’ve noticed he tries to pull away. This is something we would fight about when we were dating. It’s as though the second he truly lets his guard down and let’s himself feel things for me, he shuts off and pulls away. I feel I do a pretty good job at giving him his space but it gets annoying because it feels more like I’m playing a game than letting things take a natural course. I know I can only control my own actions and that it may be years (or never) before he’s ready to embrace his feelings. In the meantime though, I don’t know what to do…

Help?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It’s pointless to date a man with whom you’re incompatible. He doesn’t want a committed relationship and you do. This is a deal breaker. You’re wasting your time by dating him, sleeping with him, kissing him and spending time with him, when he’s being crystal clear that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. The only reason for you to be confused is because you’re not listening to him.

Read Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], so you can understand how to find, get and keep Mr. Right. You need to choose men who want what you want, and when you know for a fact the two of you are so different on this one crucial issue, it’s time for you to move on. Sorry. I know it’s not good news for you, but if you act now, you’ll save yourself time and emotional pain.

I hope that helps. See you @AskAprilcom and on Facebook: [url][/url]. 🙂

[Member]

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