[fraggle2517]

my ex boyfriend is the absolute world to me, i want to marry him, have kids with him, and spend the rest of my life with him. but about a year ago he broke my heart. he started dating other people, having random sex with people, one of which is a really good friend of mine. Now, a year later, he wants to get back together.
i’m not a prude, but sex is special to me and i didnt do it with anyone since we broke up except the one guy i dated for 4 months. i want to get back together with him, and he seems really sincere, but how do i get past all the pain that his indiscresions are causing me? I know we werent together, but its still hard to get over. also, how do i trust that he doesnt break my heart again? i want to move past and be happy with him, start fresh, but i dont know how. any help?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Your boyfriend showed you his true colors by breaking up with you, dating a lot of people, and adding insult to injury by dating and sleeping with a good friend of yours. It is a mistake to take him back. So, don’t! ❗

The gift you have in all of this is that you saw his true colors BEFORE you got married and had children. Now, you have to take yourself more seriously than you have been. Marriage and family are way more important than just dating. But dating shows you who people are so that you can make wise decisions about marriage and family. Not everyone is up to the task, and it sounds like your boyfriend’s recent history is showing you that he is not your Mr. Right. There is no reason to believe he won’t grow tired or bored or just be finished with you, again, some time in the future.

When you look for someone with whom to marry and have children, you have to think outside the box. The reasons you want to marry this man and have children with him don’t work any more. Do you really want your children to have a father who may abandon you and sleep with your best friend (or their teacher or their best friend’s mother) down the line? If you can think about the future and really set marriage and family as a goal for yourself, you’ll understand how your ex-boyfriend isn’t going to work in your world any more.

I know you have sentiment for what you used to have with him before his indiscretions, but the reality is his behavior doesn’t display any kind of readiness for marriage and children. I’d say I’m sorry for breaking this news to you, but I’m not. I’m glad to be able to steer you off the wrong path, and onto the right one.

Pick up my book, Think & Date Like A Man, here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url] for $15.95. It’s an immediate download, and you can start reading about how to get back out there, find Mr. Right, and get him.

You’re going to have to put yourself first from here on in because if you want to be a good wife and a good mother in the future, you’re going to have to make good choices in men first! 🙂

[Mia Monita]

Once a cheater, always a cheater! And the worst thing was he had sex with one of your friend and that’s unforgivable. Don’t come back to him if you want a peace of mind. Don’t let him destroy your inner peace.

[Member]

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