Hi there,
I’ve been in a relationship for almost 4 years now, and I am very happy. My girlfriend and I share a beautiful, loving bond, and we are both best friends and lovers.
However, she asked me a question today- ‘What would you do if I left you?’… and my exact words to her were something like ‘I’d feel a huge thud in my heart, and it would hurt like hell’.
..after that, she seemed upset that I apparently didn’t seem like I’d care much, just because I just told her about the ‘thud’ thing. The thing is that I’ve had a pretty tough life, and prior to meeting her, I really was a wreck of sorts and had my walls up whenever I met people. I’m not a very expressive person, but when it comes to my girlfriend, I do not hesitate to shower her with affection, love, and silly little nothings and mushy words, because I enjoy doing that with her. I love her too much to even entertain the thought of not having her in my life.. and it’s not just me saying this, even my gf tells me that I am the most ‘open’ and affectionate guy she’s ever been with.
We ended up fighting after her question because she totally blew things out of proportion (in my view) and totally misconstrued my one line to indicate that I wouldn’t care if she was around or not. I honestly can’t fathom why she asked me that question, and I told her that when two people are in love, they understand and ‘get’ one another without having to say everything in detail. I even told her that I’d never ask her the same question because I’d just know that me leaving her (if it ever happened) would seriously wound her.. there are just some things you know and really don’t need to spell out. I felt like she was asking me that question to kind of get some sort of boost to her ego.. at this point, I can’t really understand it all.
I just want to say here that aside from this incident, I have been very honest, forthcoming, and vulnerable without any second thought in this relationship because I see this girl as my wife and as the mother of my kids. I don’t know if I should apologize to her or just stay away for a while before she realizes what happened.. I love her too much and I’m already missing her. Any advice would be appreciated.. thanks in advance.
