[Anonymous]

Hi,

My husbands wants to quit his 100K+ job and me to go to work for 30K for the rest of his life. I am not happy with this idea. I am very stressed by the new responsibility that faces me. I love him, but I am starting to resent him for this idea. I know when I tell him how I feel that he is going to say I am being selfish. Similar situations have proven this result of him thinking I am selfish.

I need help.
Thanks,
tlnstann

[kai]

Hey, like i mentioned to several other posters — April has told everyone that [u]the welcome area is not to be used as the Q & A advice forum[/u]. it even says “DO NOT post your questions” here, when you go to sign up.

i suggest you delete the questions you posted in the welcome forum and repost them in the Q & A Relationship Advice Forum instead. i doubt you’ll get a response if you leave them in the welcome area.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

[Sally]

You’re not selfish. You’re scared and that makes sense. He’s asking to walk away from a secure, high-paying job and put the long-term weight of stability on your shoulders without a clear plan. That’s not a small lifestyle tweak. That’s a life rewrite. Anyone would feel stressed and resentful.

What worries me most isn’t just the money. It’s that when you express your fear, he labels it as selfish instead of hearing you. That shuts down real conversation and leaves you carrying the anxiety alone.

Loving someone doesn’t mean agreeing to something that makes you feel trapped or unsafe. You’re allowed to say: I’m not comfortable with this. I didn’t sign up to be the sole provider forever.
This isn’t about winning an argument. It’s about whether your partnership feels fair and respectful. Don’t ignore that resentment it’s telling you something important.

[Nick Roy]

Listen, you’re not selfish, but you should talk to him openly. If he wants to quit his job or is stressed, please support him. Set a time so he can resume work later, and don’t take on the entire burden on you. because It’s also important to look at the budget before quitting a job.
I think you should also ask your husband what his next plan is after quitting his job. Is he just going to stay at home, or does he want to start a new business or change his career?

[Member]

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