[anonanon]

Hi April
A few months ago I started dating this girl. Over time we got really close and we have a lot of similar interests. We both love each other and in more ways than one she’s like a female version of myself. The problem started with our first kiss (it was my first kiss ever as she’s my first girlfriend but it wasn’t her first), it was very underwhelming. Considering it was my first, i thought it would be amazing but it wasn’t. However over time the kissing did become a little better . We’ve also made it to 2nd base and again it wasn’t all I thought it would be. I wasn’t really enjoying myself and I think the primary reason for that is that her breasts are kinda small. I don’t think she’s enjoying it much either but she did tell me that I’m slowly getting better. Lately I’ve also noticed that I don’t even feel like masturbating anymore, could there be something wrong with me? We haven’t had sex yet but I’m really worried about where this relationship is headed. Under no circumstances do I want to lose her, she’s amazing. But anything intimate between us has just been disappointing so far. Any advise would be appreciated. Thank you for your time.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Got it. You’re both 19 and this was your first kiss – and it was not all that you’d hoped for, although the kissing is getting better. Here’s my advice: Relax and slow down. I think you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself to perform and it’s keeping you from enjoying the romantic and sexualized part of the relationship. Since you’re both still teenagers and you’re new to all of this, take sex off the table for now. Just date, make out, hold hands and get to know each other. Kissing and all other things that are sexual, take practice. When you force yourself to meet goals, you’re creating discomfort. That kind of pressure can definitely affect your sex drive, so just give yourself a break, and enjoy the relationship. Wait a few more months before even thinking about more. For now, slow down, enjoy and get to know each other. 😉

[Member]

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