"April Masini answers questions no one else can and tells you the truth that no one else will."

My relationship’s physical intimacy is poor

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  • #7930
    anonanon
    Member #374,459

    Hi April
    A few months ago I started dating this girl. Over time we got really close and we have a lot of similar interests. We both love each other and in more ways than one she’s like a female version of myself. The problem started with our first kiss (it was my first kiss ever as she’s my first girlfriend but it wasn’t her first), it was very underwhelming. Considering it was my first, i thought it would be amazing but it wasn’t. However over time the kissing did become a little better . We’ve also made it to 2nd base and again it wasn’t all I thought it would be. I wasn’t really enjoying myself and I think the primary reason for that is that her breasts are kinda small. I don’t think she’s enjoying it much either but she did tell me that I’m slowly getting better. Lately I’ve also noticed that I don’t even feel like masturbating anymore, could there be something wrong with me? We haven’t had sex yet but I’m really worried about where this relationship is headed. Under no circumstances do I want to lose her, she’s amazing. But anything intimate between us has just been disappointing so far. Any advise would be appreciated. Thank you for your time.

    #35010

    Got it. You’re both 19 and this was your first kiss – and it was not all that you’d hoped for, although the kissing is getting better. Here’s my advice: Relax and slow down. I think you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself to perform and it’s keeping you from enjoying the romantic and sexualized part of the relationship. Since you’re both still teenagers and you’re new to all of this, take sex off the table for now. Just date, make out, hold hands and get to know each other. Kissing and all other things that are sexual, take practice. When you force yourself to meet goals, you’re creating discomfort. That kind of pressure can definitely affect your sex drive, so just give yourself a break, and enjoy the relationship. Wait a few more months before even thinking about more. For now, slow down, enjoy and get to know each other. 😉

    #52927
    Rayan lee
    Member #382,781

    Hi!!!!!
    You might feel like ‘small breasts’ are the issue, but the truth is that attraction starts in the mind. If you keep focusing on a specific part of her body that you don’t find ‘perfect,’ you’ll never actually catch a vibe. Focus on the heat and chemistry between the two of you, rather than a checklist of body parts. Small can be incredibly sexy if the energy is right.
    WAO, I like AskApril’s expert advice that just goes on dates, holds hands, and get to know each other. Intimacy is something that comes with practice. When you treat it like a goal you have to achieve, your sex drive naturally starts to fade away.

    #52935
    Ryan Carter
    Member #382,784

    Hey 👋
    First of all, it’s completely to feel tension when your first experience about sex and relationship. Everything in your life happens first time create such kind of feelings, such as when you cheating first time in exams or like steal something from your home. Actually relationship create two kind of feelings. First one is beautiful and awesome feelings and butterflies in your stomach especially in sex. Second one is the fear of losing a person or fear of losing feelings, emotions and everything. If you haven’t felt full enjoyment yet, that’s normal, many people feel some disappointment initially.

    Because you have first time of experience related to sex, so it can due to stress, overthinking, or your body adjusting and usually it’s not a serious issue. The best approach is to have an open and honest conversation with your partner, so you can both understand each other’s comfort and preferences. Intimacy improves gradually with patience and understanding.

    Remember, a relationship isn’t only about physical experiences, it’s about an emotional bond and communication matter just as much.

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